Teacher to Teacher, October 2008

On Becoming Real When looking over a group of teachers, an experienced eye can detect three types. The easiest to spot are the rookies. Full of idealism and enthusiasm, they are eager to be part of edifying young lives. What newcomers may lack in experience, they usually make for with hustle. The other two categories can be derived from Margery Williams Bianco’s well-loved children’s story, The Velveteen Rabbit. In it is a discussion between a boy’s toys: the Velveteen Rabbit and a Skin Horse. “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day. “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It is a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” ``Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” But remember the real ones? Your life was enriched and forever changed by knowing them. You want to be like them. But what is involved in Becoming Real? As Skin Horse pointed out, the process includes being loved. It also includes being hated. Before you ever meet some students, they consider you the bad guy. You are an authority figure; and just like the guy wearing stripes on the athletic field, it does not matter how you call it. They will yell at you either way. Teachers who get to know students sometimes discover lives infected by deep bitterness and resentment. The nearer you get to the source of their pain, the more likely students are to lash out at you. Also, some people ignore the biblical principle of sowing and reaping. When you must give poor grades or punish inappropriate behavior, students (and often their parents) want you to change the rules or the consequences. If you follow through and give them what they deserve, expect the heat. In the long run, they will respect you. And respect still precedes love. By necessity, most teachers learn to deal with animosity from students and their parents. However, teachers are devastated when sideswiped by those within their own ranks. When coworkers are creating the heat, many decide it is time to leave the kitchen. But consider these responses. Toy and Real: These are categories for those no longer rookies. Remember your student days? Some of your teachers fit into the toy category. They knew lots of information and attempted to give it out, but they did not know how to give themselves. page 4 Teacher to Teacher | October 2008

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