Government Connections - Fall 2013 - (Page 13) F E AT U R E Three Rules for Working with Difficult and Nasty People BY DANIEL HOUSTON DANIEL HOUSTON & ASSOCIATES I n May of 2013, I presented at the Society of Government Meeting Professionals (SGMP) conference in Orlando, FL, on the topic “Working with Difficult and Nasty People.” The conference proved to be one of the best run conferences I have attended in 20 years. And what would you expect from meeting planners? In this workshop, I used humor to discuss effective tactics to deal with difficult and nasty behaviors, which I called DNBs. I shared that in my professional life whenever I tried to run away or eliminate these folks from my life, five more people exhibiting difficult behaviors, like bad pennies, showed up. So, Rule No. 1: Be aware that difficult or nasty people will always be around. The second rule is to understand that the reason the DNBs are difficult for us is that they invoke an emotional response. I asked the members of SGMP what emotions DNBs invoked in them. They enthusiastically and without hesitation yelled “frustration,” “belittlement,” “fear,” “terror,” “annoyance” and “anger.” Based on this assessment, I told the group that there is good news and bad news. The bad news first: When we are confronted with DNBs, our emotions can leap like a BMW coupe from 0 to 60 mph in under four seconds, often not giving us time to adjust to our overheated emotions. The other bad news, as Muriel Solomon tells us in “Working with Difficult People” (2002), is at the very time we need to have our wits about us (to deal with DNBs logically), our emotional reactions kick in and we are left with the intellectual power of a rhesus monkey. During those times, our body allocates more energy to those negative emotional reactions than to intellectual and logical responses. And, we tend to go from frustration to anger in that 0 to 60 zone. Here is the good news: We can control our emotional responses by invoking a little self-awareness. www.sgmp.org 13 http://www.sgmp.org Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Government Connections - Fall 2013 President’s Letter Editor’s Letter Going PlacesTee Off in Texas Finding Contract Solutions and Savings Three Rules for Working with Difficult and Nasty People Meet a MemberNick Hussein, DoubleTree by Hilton Bay City-Riverfront Conference ConnectionMeeting Planners by the Numbers CGMP Corner Question for Our MembersHow Have Changes in Government Meetings Impacted Your Company? National Updates SGMP Nation Advertisers’ Index Government Connections - Fall 2013 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMB0218 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMB0118 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMB0217 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMB0117 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMB0216 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMB0116 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0215 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0115 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0414 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0314 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0214 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0114 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0413 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0313 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0213 http://www.nxtbook.com/naylor/SGMQ/SGMQ0113 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0412 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0312 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0212 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0112 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0411 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0311 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0211 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0111 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0410 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0310 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0210 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0110 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0409 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naylor/SGMQ0309 http://www.nxtbookMEDIA.com
For optimal viewing of this digital publication, please enable JavaScript and then refresh the page. If you would like to try to load the digital publication without using Flash Player detection, please click here.