Contemporary Sexuality - December 2008 - (Page 7)

Book Reviews Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician: An Essential Guide By Joe Kort. W.W. Norton & Co., 2008, $32.00. In Gay Affirmative Therapy For the Straight Clinician: An Essential Guide, sex therapist Joe Kort would have us believe that most straight clinicians are unknowingly contributing to the covert traumatization of our gay and lesbian clients. And after reading this book, I can’t help but agree with him. Clinicians may be unaware of how they perpetuate this trauma as illustrated by the mistaken belief that being “gay friendly” is the same as practicing “gay affirmative therapy.” Kort lists some common therapeutic errors made by straight therapists, including use of the term “alternative lifestyle,” which implies that the client has a choice about sexual orientation. Another common error among straight therapists is the belief that “a couple is a couple,” and that all relationship issues are the same. In our naiveté on this subject, we may be overlooking crucial elements in treatment. Mr. Kort theorizes that the “coming out” process for gays and lesbians is so fraught with prejudice and hardship that it in itself creates trauma. This can have long range psychological effects, including post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and developmental disruptions in key relationships. The case history of Patricia (p. 73), illustrates the trauma of growing up gay and the innate fear of coming out to family and friends. Therapists are encouraged to ask clients about their coming out process to assess for developmental strengths and dysfunction. Kort says: “It is crucial for the therapist to identify and understand the trauma of growing up gay.” The author believes that many of the difficulties that the straight therapist may face stem from the professional’s own homophobia, hidden or denied. This can be seen, for example in the assumption that all couples should have “intercourse” — a straight experience that may not accurately reflect many lesbian relationships. Nor does it give a realistic picture of gay male sexuality. Kort educates us about “tops” and “bottoms” (p. 180) and discredits the “straight” idea of sexual penetration as the ultimate sexual act, describing it as a prejudice that straight therapists bring to their work with gay men. Gay Affirmative Therapy is a salient description of the psychological effects of growing up gay in a straight culture. The effects of coming out, the experience of the current sexual, political and legal climate at the time of writing, and the attachment and developmental issues of growing up gay and lesbian are crucial for therapists to understand to provide good quality treatment. However, what I would like to see more of from this author are additional suggestions to provide good, solid therapeutic interventions with specific exercises for therapists and couples. This book is well written and accessible. Therapists at all levels of experience can benefit from this book. The case examples are ideal illustrations and the research is timely. That said, I would like to note that there rings a slight tone of derision from the author to the straight clinician in this text. He seems to say that regardless of how good our intentions are, we may, in actuality, be doing this work all wrong. And, yet again, I think he’s absolutely right. Tammy Nelson is a certified Imago therapist. She can be reached at Tammy@passionatepartner ships.com. ——— Get Closer: A Gay Men’s Guide to Intimacy and Relationships By Jeffrey Chernin. Alyson Books, 2006. 212 pages. Paperback, $14.95. This very brief book is an introduction for gay men to understanding intimacy, finding a compatible mate and knowing how to improve the level of intimacy in their current relationships. Written as a self-help book for an individual or a gay couple working together, Get Closer and its exercises would work best under the guidance of a therapist, since the brevity of the text requires a follow up of sorts from a professional, who can make specific suggestions and expand upon concepts and issues that are presented sometimes quickly and generally. Psychotherapist Jeffrey Chernin provides an extensive discussion of gay partner violence, which is a strong component of the text. The section on how to deal with families of origin is refreshing and insightful. Substance abuse issues are addressed in effective detail, but others get short shrift in the text. For example, discussions of sexuality issues feel especially brief and flatly matter of fact. Sadomasochism (S/M) is brought up only in the context of it not being a part of partner violence. Fetishes and top/bottom issues continued on page 8 Sex therapist Joe Kort would have us believe that most straight clinicians are unknowingly contributing to the covert traumatization of our gay and lesbian clients. And after reading this book, I can’t help but agree with him. — Tammy Nelson December 2008 Vol. 42, No. 12 | www.aasect.org Contemporary Sexuality 7 http://www.aasect.org

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Contemporary Sexuality - December 2008 Contents Member Profile Book Reviews News of Members Quck Hits: Sex in the News Educational Opportunities

Contemporary Sexuality - December 2008

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