Contemporary Sexuality - April 2009 - (Page 1) American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists sexuality The international resource for educators, researchers and therapists contemporary April 2009 Vol. 43, No. 4 In this issue Reviving sex after cancer strikes W hen doctors began to attack Tamika Felder’s cervical cancer with radiation, they advised her not to have sex. “Well, duh,” Felder says. “It felt like someone was taking a hammer and beating me in the crotch.” Later, a surgeon removed her uterus, cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes and a portion of her vagina as part of a hysterectomy. Again, she was given common sense advice: Avoid intercourse until the healing was complete. “They give you a little list of things,” she says. “Don’t have sex for so many weeks or months.” What was missing from conversations with physicians, the 33-year-old Felder realizes now, was a roadmap on how to resume her sex life. “No one told me what sex would be like after cancer,” she says. “The doctors are even ashamed, so to speak, to talk to cancer survivors about it. They just send you on your way.” Which doesn’t mean Felder isn’t grateful for the doctors who saved her life. She is. But she wishes someone had taught her how to prepare for vaginal intercourse after her radical hysterectomy. Felder’s first post-cancer sexual experience was painful, frightening and embarrassing. During vaginal intercourse with her boyfriend — about 18 months after surgery — she bled so much “it looked like a murder scene.” Since that harrowing experience, Felder began using a dilator to expand her shrunken vagina and lubricant to provide moisture during vaginal intercourse. Member Spotlight . . . . . . . .3 Meet Eric Garrison of N.Y. With cancer survivors living longer, an emphasis on restoring vibrant sex lives President’s Column . . . . . . . . .7 A visit to a Florida Planned Parenthood clinic “It takes a lot of planning,” she says. “My boyfriend keeps lube at his house. When we go away, we take some along in an overnight bag. Without lube, it feels like sandpaper.” Felder didn’t learn any of this until she began talking with other survivors at a cervical cancer conference. She’s created a nonprofit — Tamika & Friends — to educate other women about life after cancer treatment, including how to restore zeal in continued on page 4 2009 AASECT Conference . . . . . .8 Making the most of this year’s conference Quick Hits: Sex in the News . . . . . . .10 Online sex offender info expands News of Members . . . . . . .12 Esther Perel wins SSTAR book award Educational Opportunities . . .15 AASECT, WAS conferences scheduled for May, June Tamika Felder
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