Modern Hygienist - February 2009 - (Page 34)

life | SURVIVING How single moms make it work ree women share their stories. compiled and edited by Thais Carter Linda Obermeyer, RDH. Twelve years ago, I decided not to follow my long-haired biker boyfriend to California. Instead, I became involved with the “man of my dreams.” My Mr. X, a marketing executive with three college degrees, wore a fine suit—Armani double-breasted in olive pinstripes. He wore burgundy Bostonian shoes and a gold watch. He brought me expensive perfume on our first date. It was romantic, but it was all downhill from there. You see, my Mr. X had a mental illness. I met him in his manic phase; he had positive energy and his brilliant mind and dashing good looks dazzled me. Long story short: We married and had two children together. I found out that much of what he told me was lies, and I cried my heart out when I needed to put both our children in daycare and get a full-time job. Fortunately, I had family, a dental hygiene license and a supportive dental team. When our sons had turned two and three years old, my husband and I bought a huge, old Victorian home in desperate need of restoration. We were in the home for one year before our marriage dissolved and I found myself in charge of the 100-year-old house and two boys. The first year, my sister-in-law stayed with the boys while I worked. A part-time, two-day position evolved into a fourday-a-week, 9 to 5 position. Two general dentists owned the practice, and two specialists worked various days. There was one part-time hygienist and nine front- and back-office assistants. They respected each other and worked together like sisters. Like any family, we had our obstacles to overcome, but we were always forgiving and supportive of each other. For example, when my sons were three and four years old, they were placed in a special preschool; their 33% delay in language landed them in a state facility. Because of my sons’ disabilities the daycare was free. I was not, however, permitted to drop them off at school until 8:50 a.m., meaning I could not get to work before 9:10 a.m. each day. To help, the dental assistants would prepare my first patient. In return, I would help the assistants wherever and whenever I could. The employers “looked the other way” in regard to my daily start time and I never minded occasionally treating them, or other employees, on a lunch hour. I’d like to believe I was retained because I was such a great hygienist, but I know better. The people I worked with and for were empathetic and caring people. I did a lot on my own those days. I threw my whole being into my two children, working, going to church and taking care of the grounds and the house. It was isolating, but I had faith it would not last forever. Without faith in God, a dental hygiene education and a supportive dental team and family, I would not have been able to handle being a single mom. Ten years later, I still own a home (not the old Victorian), I have a fairly new car, take a vacation each year and I am remarrying soon. The advice I’d give a young girl about to marry? Make sure you have an education and experience—you never know what life is bringing you. Believe and obey God’s word, and don’t discount the biker dude with long hair and gentle nature. Linda Obermeyer, RDH, is a clinically practicing dental hygienist living in Oldsmar, Fla. 34 modernhygienist.com | February 2009 TOP PHOTO: CHRIS AMARAL/GETTY IMAGES http://www.modernhygienist.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Modern Hygienist - February 2009

Modern Hygienist - February 2009 Contents Editor's Letter Letters News Modern Solutions Caring for Kids The DNA Difference A Healthy Perspective The Economic Impact on You How Single Moms Make it Work Ad Index Classified Economy 101

Modern Hygienist - February 2009

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