AOPA Pilot Magazine - November 2014 - 22

LICENSE TO LEARN

The examiner

BY ROD MACHADO

Crazy tales to tell
WE SHOULD ALL have a deep respect for designated
pilot examiners (DPE), especially when you consider
the unofficial job description for their line of work. The
job description might read as follows: You are expected
to evaluate someone you've never met on one of the most
stressful days of his or her life while sitting in a tiny airborne moving vehicle just inches away from flight controls
that you are not expected to touch until it appears that
your vaporization is imminent. Where do I sign up?
Evaluating someone for a pilot certificate is no
walk in the park; it's more like trying to parallel park.
Not only must the examiner evaluate the applicant, he
or she must also play psychologist and help this person
relax. At least that's what some of the very best DPEs
do. Yes, this can be challenging, but it's not the most
challenging part of the examination process.

Evaluating someone for a pilot certificate is no walk
in the park; it's more like trying to parallel park.

ROD MACHADO'S

latest book is the
How to Fly An
Airplane Handbook.

Most examiners were (or still are) active flight
instructors. During the examination process, however,
examiners are not allowed to do what comes naturally
to them-teach! They are allowed only to examine.
Now that's a challenge.
In the early 1980s, our local FAA office asked me to
be an examiner. I declined, knowing it would be difficult for me to maintain an examiner's demeanor without
slipping into the role of flight instructor. Sit and watch
someone skid during a turn and not say something?
Can't do it. That's like asking a heavy metal band to be
kind to the hotel furniture. Not only will they rearrange
it, they'll break it, throw it, roll it, and smoke it.
There are many other reasons to admire designated pilot examiners. They must not only examine,
they must also be prepared to handle an applicant who
behaves in strange and mysterious ways.
During a private pilot checkride, my DPE friend
Hank asked the applicant to take him to the Seal Beach
VOR. This fellow promptly tuned in the VOR station,
rotated the OBS, and centered the needle. Then he did
something Hank didn't expect. He pushed the knob on
the directional gyro and rotated the compass card until
it read the same as the OBS value. Hank looked over
and asked, "Excuse me, why did you do that?"
The applicant replied, "My instructor says that
whenever we navigate by VOR, these two things have

22 | AOPA PILOT November 2014

got to match." Checkride over, pink license issued.
Hank's experience, however, was nowhere near
as perplexing as what happened to Jim, another designated pilot examiner. According to Jim, a private
pilot applicant tried to influence the outcome of the
checkride by using the Jedi mind control technique.
After Jim's applicant failed miserably, they landed
and exited the airplane. Jim turned to the applicant
and said, "I'm sorry to say that your performance
wasn't satisfactory, so you didn't pass the checkride."
Upon hearing the bad news, the applicant began
swaying rhythmically right and left, then in a low,
resonant voice said, "Relax, Jim. Relax. Yes, relax.
Let these negative thoughts leave your brain. This
applicant did pass the checkride, didn't he? This
applicant will be receiving his license today, won't
he?" Jim smiled, shook his head, and made it clear
to Svengali that he better knock it off or he'd kick
his Houdini off the airport. Checkride over, pink
license issued.
Another examiner told me about an applicant who
refused to admit that he actually failed. The examiner
told the applicant that he "had major doubts about
the applicant's mastery of the airplane."
The applicant pulled out the practical test standards (at that time it was the 2002 version) and
showed him the section that said an applicant must
"demonstrate mastery of the aircraft with the successful outcome of each task performed never seriously in
doubt." (That phrase has since been modified.)
The applicant said, "Since you only have major
doubt, this clearly isn't serious doubt. Therefore, I
still pass, right?" Nice try, Perry Mason, but wrong.
Checkride over, pink license issued.
While every designated pilot examiner has his or
her own crazy tales to tell, there's one tale that needs
to be told. Being an examiner is a mighty big responsibility (see "P&E: Charm School," September 2014
AOPA Pilot). Not only must examiners belay their
natural desire to teach during the evaluation process,
they must properly evaluate an applicant's skill and
knowledge in a typically high-stress environment. The
examiner must also be willing to give an applicant the
bad news if that person fails a checkride-which isn't
easy to do when you're being hypnotized.
AOPA
WEB

www.rodmachado.com

http://www.rodmachado.com

AOPA Pilot Magazine - November 2014

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