Chicago Special Parent Magazine 2008

GRIEVING from page 16 “There was no champagne toast, no videotaping, no celebration,” she recalls. “Just fear and devastation.” And soon after, grief, for the McKenna she always imagined yet now will never have. This is natural for new parents of children with special needs. Pregnant mothers-to-be don’t dream of babies born with cerebral palsy. Eager fathers-to-be don’t dream of babies born with Down syndrome. No parent dreams of a child with any developmental disability and a lifetime of special needs. So when their long-awaited bundle of joy is born with such a condition, or later diagnosed, the situation gives birth to an unexpected grieving process and a profound sense of loss for the imaginary child that will never be. For some, it’s for the loss of their child’s first day of kindergarten, first prom or first romantic kiss. For others, the loss of their child’s ability to say “I love you,” or their wedding ceremony or future grandchildren. For Tyszkiewicz, it’s for finding herself sobbing uncontrollably in a store’s toy aisle Free Teleseminar for Parents ONLY reveals… “How to Build a Fortress of Protection Around Your Child with Special needs that Will Last a Lifetime” Young Family Devastated After Tragic Car Accident…Three Boys Spend Time in Foster Care; Family Fighting Leads to Bitter Feud in Public Court Chicago, IL - On July 31, 2006, the Barber family was in a tragic car accident. Parents Melanie and Casey died. Their family was thrown into a nightmare. This is a true story. Mel and Casey had talked about naming guardians to provide for the care of their sons and the money they’d leave behind. They never got around to it. They likely thought their family would be able to work out who would care for the boys and their money, with love and grace, if anything happened. That’s not what happened. After the accident, the boys were in the foster care system for a short time. Since then, over 1,000 pages of court documents have been ﬁled, 9 lawyers, and tens (or even hundreds) of thousands of dollars later, the boys will live with their aunt Janine and their money will be managed by a professional charging $100/hour until they turn 18. Is that what Melanie and Casey would have wanted? If they had known what would happen, they would have done everything they could to protect their kids—if only they had known how easy it would have been to take care of it. because her little “sweet pea” may never be able to play with certain toys. Or realizing that her friend’s 6-week-old infants have already surpassed McKenna’s development. Or watching her 4-year-old son, Kyle, show off for his baby sister, but not having the heart to tell him that McKenna is blind and can’t see what he’s doing. “This is our reality and it doesn’t go away,” the Lombard mother says. Parents attach to children long before they’re actually born, typically through dreams, fantasies and projections of the future, research shows. So when a developmental disability comes along at birth, or even later, it creates miscarried dreams and fractured fairy tales. M y name is Kirsten Izatt. I’m a mom and a lawyer. I’m hosting this free teleseminar for parents only because 68% of you don’t have your ﬁnancial house in order and haven’t even legally named guardians for your kids, and 88% of you haven’t set up a special needs trust. And I’m committed to doing something about the growing number of people with disabilities who are left with no means of ﬁnancial support other than government assistance once their parents are gone. The time for you to take action is now! “This is our reality and it doesn’t go away.” NICOLE TYSZKIEWICZ Here are 7 reasons why you should reserve your spot today… 1…You’ll learn how to make sure your children’s future is not left in the hands of the court system and a Judge who doesn’t know you or your kids (I will show you simple steps you need to immediately take to ensure the protection of your children). 2…You’ll ﬁnd out how to set up a system of advocacy, accountability, and ﬁnancial management for your child that will last a lifetime. 3…You’ll learn how to put a special needs trust in place that protects your child’s eligibility for essential governmental beneﬁts as an adult (and how to make sure the trust “ﬁts” your child). 4…Your child with special needs won’t become one of the many adults with disabilities living in poverty . . . the time to secure their future is now! 5…You’ll ﬁnd out how to plan for the future care of your child with special needs the right way . . . and some of the most common mistakes parents make when putting together a plan. 6…You’ll hear whether to apply for guardianship when your child turns 18 . . . and when not to. 7…You’ll discover exactly how to take control of your ﬁnances if something happens to your spouse. This FREE Parents ONLY Teleseminar will show you how to get your ﬁnancial house in order, take control of your ﬁnances and secure your children’s future. Learn from their experience! It’s Easy to Protect Your Family and Your Money with the guidance of a Personal Family Lawyer™. Don’t be one of those people who leave their loved ones with a complicated mess and their children unprotected. By consulting with a Personal Family Lawyer™, you can relax and rest assured your child with special needs will receive a lifetime of protection and your children will never be taken out of your home if you are in a tragic accident or raised by anyone you wouldn’t want. Keep your family and your assets out of court! Readers of Chicago Special Parent, who own their own home and have a child with special needs, can meet with a Personal Family Lawyer for an absolutely free personal Family Wealth Planning Session (normally $750). If you already have a plan in place, but want to make sure it adequately protects your child with special needs (most don’t!), ask for your free plan audit (normally $950). IMPORTANT DETAILS Dates: First Thursday of Every Month Time: 1:00 p.m. CST Cost: **FREE** I’ve only got 100 lines available for this call and reservations are made on a ﬁrst come, ﬁrst served basis. Register Now! Your Family Wealth Planning Session should be scheduled right away. For a Family Wealth Planning Session in Wheaton, IL call 630-871-8778 Mention Chicago Special Parent to receive this special offer. Limited to the ﬁrst 21 callers. Register now to avoid missing this important event for PARENTS ONLY Go to www.SpecialNeedsFreedomCall.com or call 800-974-2858 to Register for this FREE Teleseminar. Only 100 Lines are Available, So Register NOW! When Kimberly Perry discovered her baby boy, Luke, was born with key abnormalities with his chromosomes, bowels and other organs, she felt like a loved one had just died. That loved one was her imagined child, from months and most likely years in the making. “The emotions I felt are very hard to put into words,” Perry says. “It was just a surreal few minutes of this overwhelming sick-to-your-stomach feeling.” And even though little “Lukers” turned 2 in March, birthdays can sometimes be a tangible reminder that he’s not developing at a normal rate, Perry notes, “which takes some of the joy out of them for me.” Experts suggest parents going through such grieving must learn to reattach themselves with the child they have now, while letting go of the child they once dreamed about. They also need to realize that it’s the disability, disorder or condition that hijacked those dreams, not the child. And new dreams can be reborn. This is exactly what most parents of children with special needs, including Perry, learned to do. She fondly remembers being told by a neonatologist that, yes, Luke got dealt a rough hand in life, “but God also gave him me for his mother,” Perry recalls. Frank Matusik’s son, Sam, 5, cannot walk, talk or eat on his own, but his family | Specıal Parent 2008 CHICAGO | ChicagoParent.com http://www.specialneedsfreedomcall.com http://ChicagoParent.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Chicago Special Parent Magazine 2008

Chicago Special Parent Magazine 2008 Contents In Our Shoes Of Mothers and Mission Control A Love Story Keeping the Whole Family Well What Do I Do? Resources God's Special Child Our Kids Inspirations

For optimal viewing of this digital publication, please enable JavaScript and then refresh the page. If you would like to try to load the digital publication without using Flash Player detection, please click here.