Chicago Special Parent Magazine 2008

What siblings want from parents One-on-one time with parents. Children need to know from their parents’ deeds and words that they are cared about as individuals. When parents carve time out of a busy schedule to grab a bite at a local burger joint or window shop at the mall with their typically developing children, it conveys a message that parents “are there” for them as well and provides an excellent opportunity to talk about a wide range of topics. Opportunities to meet peers. For most parents, the thought of “going it alone,” raising a child with special needs without the benefit of knowing another parent in a similar situation, would be unthinkable. Yet this routinely happens to brothers and sisters. Sibshops, listservs such as SibNet and SibKids, and similar efforts offer siblings the common-sense support and validation that parents get from parent-to-parent programs. Brothers and sisters—like parents—like to know that they are not alone with their unique joys and concerns. Parents’ perspective is more important than the actual disability. Parents would be wise to remember that their interpretation of their child’s disability will be a greater influence on the typically developing sibling than the actual disability itself. When parents seek support, information and respite for themselves, they model resilience and healthy attitudes and behaviors for their typically developing children. Courtesy of The Sibling Support Project. To learn where to find Sibshops in your community, visit www.siblingsupport.org. Iris Donohue, 8, and her brother Simon, 6 Photo courtesy of Susie Donohue Keeping the whole family well Help for kids with a sibling who has special needs ear, anger and empathy are just a few of the feelings siblings of children with special needs have reported in national studies from such places as the National Information Center For Children and Youth with Disabilities. But what happens behind the scenes—behind the statistics— is what truly shapes a family, experts say. No matter what the disability, it will ultimately affect the entire family dynamic. “Being the sibling of a brother or sister with special needs is not BY MELISSA BLAKE F an easy role to take on, and many kids do it with unconditional love and a great spirit,” says Judy Winter, author of Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs: Raising the Bar of Expectations and a parent of a child with cerebral palsy. “It’s a parent’s responsibility to make sure they are doing OK, too.” Dealing day-by-day LEARN MORE Sibling Support Project, www.siblingsupport.org or (206) 297-6368, hosts local Sibshops for sisters and brothers of children with special health and developmental needs. “Having a child with special needs has lasting impact on all the members of the family, but perhaps none is as great as that felt by siblings,” says Winter. These brothers and sisters live with the ramifications of how continued on page 22 ChicagoParent.com | Specıal Parent 2008 CHICAGO | 21 http://www.siblingsupport.org http://www.siblingsupport.org http://ChicagoParent.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Chicago Special Parent Magazine 2008

Chicago Special Parent Magazine 2008 Contents In Our Shoes Of Mothers and Mission Control A Love Story Keeping the Whole Family Well What Do I Do? Resources God's Special Child Our Kids Inspirations

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