CITY Issue 57

CITY LIFE / THE AMUSED BOUCHE REVERSAL OF FORTUNE After a lifetime of hostility toward anyone who opts out of anything — especially when it comes to eating and drinking — Eva Hagberg discovers that there just might be something to the idea of personal choice. I like to think that I was raised right. I wait until the hostess has li ed not Sophie, and I need help. So I call the Emily Post Institute, and in desc ibing he fo k; I make eye contact with people when I pass the butte dish; I my p edicament to Lizzie Post, who w ote a book called Ho Do ou Wo This don’t leave the table without asking to be excused. I think I’m gene ally Life Thin ?, I tell he this sto y. ? polite and conside ate — not gold-medal aspi ing he e, but maybe gold“That is the epitome of etiquette,” she says of Sophie’s sodas. “It’s about besta ea ning. But he e’s the thing: Up until ecently, I just didn’t unde stand ing espectful and conside ate and honest.” vegeta ians. O pesceta ians. O non-omnivo es. I couldn’t unde stand why I’m int igued by this t ifecta. Is it eally that simple? Can it get me out of any they would skip out on something so good? Why miss so many of life’s g eat kind of jam, even if it’s the kind whe e someone can’t eat f uit? I want to take a expe iences? Why choose lentils when you can have po k fat? It made no sense page out of Sophie’s book, but I need a few mo e ules than she does, as it and I ce tainly couldn’t empathize. doesn’t come as easily to me. So I ask Lizzie, “How do I ente tain, now that I’ve nd so, when I th ew dinne pa ties, the e we e no options. If I wanted to been enlightened?” g ill steaks, steaks we e g illed. Did I even ask my guests? No. Did I p ovide fo “Just make su e the e a e always options,” she explains. In he case, fo exthe ones I knew wouldn’t eat ed meat? es, but with open contempt. “This is ample, Lizzie always makes two kinds of dumplings fo pa ties: one meat, one you dinne ,” I’d say, pointing to thei g ay tuna steak. “ nd this,” pointing to vegeta ian (cooked, of cou se, in vegetable stock). I think about my upcoming my blood-d ipping th ee-inch ib eye, “is mine.” summe ba becues and my ﬁ st instinct is to make a mental note to th ow some My p ejudice is nothing new: I ﬁ st eally bonded with my college best limp aspa agus and zucchini on the g ill. But Lizzie says I need to take it one f iend in the g ill line. We we e the only gi ls eating meat. I loved he fo it. nd step fu the . “I used to get so f ust ated t ying to make dishes fo my vegeta ian then, fou yea s late , she announced that she was f iends,” she says. “ nd then I ealized that even now a vegeta ian. I wouldn’t hea it. I insisted we thinking, ‘The e’s no they’ e goTO ALL THE VEGETARIANS, though I’m at something and say,meat!’ at all these go to the estau ants I wanted to go to, ones that ing to look ‘Look VEGANS, NON-DRINKERS, made one po tobello nod towa ds people like he . g eat vegetables!’ ” It’s this that’s the kicke , the When one day she suggested we t y out this tofupa t I haven’t been noticing. I’ve assumed all along NON-DAIRY-EATERS, emb acing, seitan-f ying place, I exe cised my that my diﬀe ently eating f iends saw thei po k LOCAVORES, AND PEOPLE veto. I made it clea that it was he choice to make fat–f ee life in the same sad light as I did. But they WHO JUST DON'T LIKE such an insane decision, so why should I pay fo it don’t. s unimaginable as it might be to me, I eal(and a bowl of sp outed g ains)? ize that the e a e people out the e who genuinely BEETS — I'M SORRY. AND That was almost ﬁve yea s ago. nd almost one love a plate of lentils as much as I love steak. Lizzie I'M TRYING TO CHANGE. yea ago, I stopped d inking. Like, f iend-of-Bill ag ees: “It was about getting inside my vegeta ian stopped d inking. Like, I-go-to-chu ch-basementsf iends’ heads.” and-sha e stopped d inking. nd all of a sudden, the tables had been tu ned. Even mo e p essing fo me these days is how to be g aceful as a guest. “With Me, the pe son who’d judged people who didn’t d ink as lame-asses, the pe son an alle gy, you want to mention something as soon as you get invited,” she says. who efused to cate to vegeta ians, the pe son who, to be pe fectly honest, “But be honest about it.” (The e goes my “alle gy” to musta d.) But what about avoided making f iends with vegans, needed all the empathy I could get. ll of something mo e ambiguous, like people who eat only locally aised meat? “If it’s a sudden, the e I was with my dieta y — no, not dieta y, life — est iction a small gathe ing,” she says, “you might want to oﬀe to b ing a dish — that lets boldly in hand, t ying to have a social life. the hostess know that you’ e not t ying to be diﬃcult when she’s invited you.” To all the vegeta ians, vegans, non-d inke s, non-dai y-eate s, wheat-avoidI’ve sta ted doing that lately, b inging a desse t to pa ties that I know will be e s, wheatg ass-love s, locavo es, and people who just don’t like beets — I’m mostly about d inking, and it’s funny how even the most esolute champagneso y. nd I’m t ying to change. hound won’t eject a slice of apple ta t. I think about the hosts who’ve done ight by me. few months a e I anfew weeks ago, I invited some f iends ove fo dinne . I wanted to make nounced — awkwa dly, despe ately, se iously — that I should be counted out of maca oni and cheese, which, in my kitchen of cou se involves bacon. I wasn’t the cocktail headcount, my f iend Sophie th ew a pa ty. nd the e, on the table, su e if my f iend Julie ate po k o not, but I emembe ed he mentioning sometucked between the bou bon and the gin, she’d placed a can of anciata and thing months ea lie . So I asked he in an e-mail if the e was anything she anothe of Limonata. It was a p ofound act of kindness. I didn’t have to make do didn’t eat. “I won’t eat ham/bacon/po k, but that’s it,” she w ote back. “ nd if with wate , o make a p oduction out of b inging my own bucket of o ange juice, it’s al eady baked into the mac’ and cheese, I’ll pick it out!” o feel awkwa d any time someone suggested we hit the ba . nd it woke me up. The e was no need fo he to be so g acious. Fo the ﬁ st time eve , I was I want to be like Sophie. I want to just know that that’s what is done. But I’m al eady on it. 34 CITY TY PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY ANTHONY CROSS & ALEXANDER WOLF

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of CITY Issue 57

City Issue 57 Contents Letter from City Our Friends Action Wanted City Moment Temporary Contemporary In Rouge Fast Food The Amused Bouche How We Live/The Kitchen Taste Test Dessert Wine Going Local Expert Opinion Travel Employees Only Summer Showers Wild Things Be There at 10 P.M. Sharp If... Where To Buy It Icon

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