Paralysis Resource Guide - (Page 102) HEALTH MANAGEMENT Healthy Living COPING AND ADJUSTMENT Individuals who are new to paralysis, whether from a sudden accident or the progression of a disease, will most likely experience grief. Families, too, enter this strange, new why-me world with its hallmarks of mourning, helplessness, second-guessing and regret. While everyone deals with loss and change in their own way, there are aspects of the adjustment process that many people share. At first, many react to paralysis as if nothing happened, refusing to accept that changes in their body and in their ability to move are not going to get better or heal in ways they always have. Some may see the injury as an annoyance similar to getting the flu that will pass with time. Psychologists call this denial. Elisabeth KüblerRoss, who has outlined the stages of grieving, notes that denial has a beneficial function as a “buffer” after unexpected shocking news. Some people find refuge in the denial stage for a long time, using it as an excuse to do nothing, or to do too much to overcome limitations and act “normal.” Most, however, will begin to gain knowledge about their condition and have some perspective on what has happened. As denial fades, hope emerges. Thus begins the process of adjustment. When denial can no longer be maintained, it is often replaced with other dark feelings: anger, rage, envy and resentment. These can be seen as defense mechanisms that allow a person time to mobilize other defenses. Guilt may be part of the mix, too, especially in people whose poor judgment or self-destructive behavior may have contributed to their disability. Self-loathing may also appear when one’s notion of “normal” is turned upside down. Many people within the universe of disability – including those who experience paralysis first hand as well as family members – can become extremely frustrated. They may see themselves as victims whose lives are ruined because they can never live the happy life they always knew they would; they see no way out. These people may react with hostility to others. This, of course, adds stress to caregivers and loved ones. There’s nothing wrong with anger — unless you hold on to it and let it smolder. The best advice, easier said than done, is to let anger run its course, and let it go. How? Some find relief in religion, others by quieting the 102
For optimal viewing of this digital publication, please enable JavaScript and then refresh the page. If you would like to try to load the digital publication without using Flash Player detection, please click here.