National Jurist - November 2007 - (Page 46)

OFFTHEBENCH The ABCs of law school exams The words you’ll chant in your sleep before law school is over f the first year of law school is a coming of age, exams are its rite of passage. And as if the pressure of exams weren’t enough, these tests are all or nothing. Not to mention the fact that they cover more material than you learned in an entire year of undergrad study, you haven’t slept since September, and you know you’re competing with every person in your class. For first years, it’s even worse. You don’t know what to expect, and you barely speak the language. Here’s a little help for you, a primer to get you familiar with the law school exam by Mark B. Telloyan lingo: •AmJur: A verb meaning to score the highest in the class. “He AmJured Crim but only got a B in CivPro.” •Bluebook: Informal name for the examination booklets. Since the light blue covers hold only six blank pages marked with lines wide enough to write in with crayon, you will have to use three or more to finish a test. •Cram session: The 48 hours between exams. •Discuss all the possible rights and liabilities of all the parties: The diabolical sentence at the end of a fact pattern that will torment you for days after the test with nightmares of rights and liabilities you might have missed. •Erie doctrine: A favorite testing topic of Civil Procedure professors involving the resolution of conflict between state and federal laws. •Fact pattern: Testing technique in which the teacher lists events in narrative form and the student must spot the issues and apply the law. A Torts fact pattern might start like this — “Able contracted with Baker to repair the driveway at Baker’s residence made by Charlie and to make it totally safe. Delta was injured when she tripped on the driveway and later died.” It’s worth noting that these patterns will be filled with completely irrelevant information and may make little or no sense. •Grade: Life or death. In a first-year student’s substantive courses, it is determined exclusively by one final exam. •Honor code: Printed in small letters on the bluebook’s front cover. The style is appropriately elevated Victorian — “United in a spirit of mutual trust and fellowship ….” •Intentional infliction of emotional distress: The cause of action against those who create final exams. •Juris-prude: What a student turns into during finals. •K: Abbreviation for contract. Used along with D for defendant and P for plaintiff to save precious seconds. 46 •Memory: Something overburdened students begin to lose when they need it most — just before finals. •Mind: Another thing students seem to lose in the long study sessions before finals. •Numb thumb: Test-taking injury. •Post-mortems: Discussions about the test after turning it in. Usually highlighted by much wailing and gnashing of teeth over issues you missed even though they were obvious to everyone else. •Questions: In addition to the standard fact pattern, a professor may have a policy question or even a section of multiple choice. These may induce panic in students who had steeled themselves to see nothing but fact patterns. •Rose 2d of Aberlone: The pregnant cow that has taught generations of would-be attorneys the black-letter law about mutual mistakes. •Secret codes: Students use a three-digit number instead of their name, so teachers never know the authors of those dismal answers. Also the language some professors seem to write their exams in. •Sleep: A daily period of rest during which normal people are unconscious. For law students approaching finals, nothing more than a hazy, distant memory. •Spouse: That angry person who wants to know why sleeping together suddenly means sleeping together. This person tells you that you live in the same house, but you spend so much time at the library before finals that you are not sure. •Study group: A group of students that is supposed to get together to help each other prepare for exams. Get to like the people in your study group because by the last week before finals, these will be the only people you can make time to see or talk to. •Time limit: The maximum of three hours for each test that passes too fast for you to answer all the questions. •Undergrads: During finals, they sneak into the law library and take over study cubicles through adverse possession. Most are easily recognizable by their acne and textbooks with color pictures. •Zzzz’s: The top priority once exams end. Mark P. Telloyan graduated from Notre Dame Law School. Got something funny to say? E-mail Jack@CypressMagazines.com THE NATIONAL JURIST November 2007

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National Jurist - November 2007 Contents Disturbing the Peace For the Record Blogs: The Death-knell for Law Reviews? Chemerinsky Heads UC-Irvine Ave Maria Dispute Raises ABA Inquiry John Marshall Establishes Veterans Clinic The Firm Report The Paper Chase Chronicles Law School Rankings at Math's Mercy Academic Freedom Called into Question St. Thomas Students Choose ‘Quality of Life’ Experience The Hidden Debt Crisis The Global Frontier International Education has to be a Part of Any Legal Education Employment Defender Career Hotline Off the Bench

National Jurist - November 2007

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