Spread the Fire - November/December 2007 - (Page 9)

ers. When you believe false statements about yourself, you really believe Satan’s opinion of you, lies sometimes disguised as half-truths, about who you really are. Those words can create a highway for you to travel down the rest of your life if you choose to embrace them. I asked Jesus to show me where I may have embraced a word spoken over me that became a curse in my life. I had been analytical from childhood. Jesus took me back to a moment that my mom and dad unknowingly spoke what amounted to a “curse” over me. That day, in particular, they were tired of my many questions. “Trisha you would argue with the devil!” they said. My parents had no idea then that I would suffer a lasting effect from that statement. When it left their mouths, I began to believe it and conform myself to it. Those words, which really came from Satan, the first spiritual orphan, led me into a lifestyle of orphan-like thinking that lasted into adulthood. I began to think like a spiritual orphan, someone who feels like they have no value, no home where they feel safe. I only felt valued by spiritual fathers/mothers in my life if I were serving them. Subtly the devil, the father of spiritual orphans used those words to sabotage my destiny. He deceived me into believing that I was not a creative thinker with innovative ideas and creative inventions. Instead, I concluded, my questions came from my rebellion. From that moment on, I never felt valued for being creative. I was afraid to think outside the box. The deception that I was rebellious then became a highway of deception in my life that caused me to shut off my own creativity. That fear caused me to put up walls against anyone who resembled a father or mother influence in my life. I could not respond to authority figures in any healthy way. While I wore the mantle of a good little servant, underneath I wanted to explode with a thousand questions, all beginning with the word, “WHY?” Before I could become a “son,” I had to deal with my own orphan thinking that had created in me the temptation to reject authority. I realized that I needed the help of a trusted Christian friend to help me discover the deep issues of my orphan heart and bring my wounds into the light so that my mind could be renewed. I opened my heart up first to my husband Jack who himself had been walking down his own path toward spiritual sonship. I saw in Jack the humility that enabled him to confess sins of resentment and repent of how he had not appreciated the spiritual fathers in his own life. I heard him confess his orphan thinking to Pastor Houston Miles of Evangel Cathedral, Spartinburg, SC where we had once served on staff. When Jack confessed his sin, he never blame shifted or gave excuses. He simply brought into the light how he had re- sponded to the times he felt he did not have a place in Pastor Miles’ heart. He repented for allowing his resentment to keep him from wholeheartedly supporting the vision at Evangel. Instead of helping to make it successful, he had separated himself in his heart and had drawn a following of people to himself. Watching my husband confess his sin caused me to realize that situations in my life had hindered me from feeling as if I had a home in a spiritual father/mother’s heart. I had to consciously break the power of those words that were spoken over me during my childhood which I had believed and were now stunting my spiritual growth. If you are serious about walking in the Holy Spirit and sonship, you must, with God’s help, look at all of the issues in your life that hinder you. If you do not, then you will hide your true spiritual identity under a mask of religious denial and will walk, instead, in a form of spiritual slavery. MY PATH HOME While there is no formula to follow, there are several steps that I took to that place of sonship, into knowing that I had a home in the hearts of my spiritual parents. The first step came when the Lord showed me that a curse was in operation in my life: “Trisha, you would argue with the devil!” Being set free from that word curse required more of me that just commanding the words to fall to the ground, I had to forgive those who had spoken curses over me. With God’s help, I consciously forgave them. I then repented for allowing my spirit to believe those lies. Next I stepped behind the cross, consciously placing it between me and those words. With the cross between me and those words, I disciplined my thought life by recognizing and refusing to listen to the orphan thinking that tried for a time to replay the curses in my head. I didn’t stop there. I asked some of the authority figures in my life to forgive me for the times I responded to them with my orphan thinking rather than with God’s love. I began to allow the Holy Spirit to develop a heart of sonship toward the authorities in my life and found that place of sonship in their hearts. I now seek to find out what is important to them and position myself under the vision God, our Father, has given to them by making it important to me. Now I am no longer a slave, but a son and am free to serve without fear respecting the spiritual fathers and mothers God has put in my life to help me learn. I believe they would tell you now that I am a “son” that they can depend on to make what is important to them important to me. So I ask you now the question that started me on my journey, “Whose son are you?” S TF - 9

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Spread the Fire - November/December 2007

Spread the Fire - November/December 2007 Contents In the River Finding My Place As a Son How to Experience the Father’s Love From Shame to Honor: My Journey into Sonship “YHWH” is Papa Book Review The Last Word International Itinerary Resource Center Catalogue Upcoming Events Visitor Information

Spread the Fire - November/December 2007

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