Walneck's Classic Cycle Trader - July 2008 - (Page 42) MONTHLY FEATURES BENCH RACING Enduro, Scrambles, Dirt track or Road Race. (24) Your Goldie got waxed by a Matador, TT, KR or G80 respectively. (25) You watched Dick Mann beat everyone on bikes he built himself. (26) You actually rode your bike to a race, raced it and then rode home. (27) You rooted for the guy on your brand of bike to win. (28) You bought a new HD because it had electric start. (29) The first modification you made was to install drain cocks in your new Eglides saddlebags. (30) You agonized over whether to buy that new 1966 250 Sprint or go for a Triumph Cub or maybe one of those new Jap bikes. (31) You went for the X6 Hustler and simultaneously learned how to do a wheelie and clean fouled spark plugs. (32) You bought a new Honda of any size and never learned how to do anything more than change the oil and adjust the drive chain. (33) You agonized over buying that new Triumph Trident or the Honda 750. (34) You bought the Honda and never looked back. (35) You passed on that new BSA Lightening because the Dove Gray frame was just wrong. (36) You remember where you were when you found out that BSA went belly up. (37) You remember when and why the Triumph workers went on strike. (38) You actually considered buying a new Royal Enfield Interceptor. (39) You passed on the Enfield and bought a Norton Atlas. (40) You made an appointment with your dentist to have all those loose fillings (caused by the Atlas’s vibration) replaced. (41) You stopped by your local Matchless, AJS, and Velocette shop to look at the new bikes. (42) You recall how surprised you were when all of the above brands were pushed into the back room to make way for some new line called a “Honda.” Bench Racing #100 July 2008 Some Random Thoughts on Reaching 100 I originally sat down to write what I thought would turn out to be something wise, witty and profound about what it’s like to churn out one hundred consecutive columns for Walneck’s Classic Cycle Trader. Along the way I figured I’d also come up with some pithy insights and sage observations concerning vintage bikes in particular and the motorcycle business in general. But basically what I came up with was a series of rants, some incomplete and murky thoughts and a couple of axes to grind. Basically I figured that you didn’t really want to hear any of that. Most of us have had a bellyful of bad news these past months and my adding fuel to anyone’s fire isn’t going to help. So anyway I decided I’d dispense with all of that and simply tell you thanks for all your help, without the support of you, the readers and the staff at Walneck’s, especially Heidi, Emma and of course Buzz, I never could have done it. Anyway in the spirit of turning 100 here’s the 100 ways, in no particular order, that you know you’re truly a vintage biker (or old curmudgeon) as opposed to a pretentious wannabe. You’re the real deal if; (1) You know how to kickstart a bike. (2) You know how to kickstart a Sportster. (3) You know how to pop a displaced knee back into place. (4) You remember when motorcycle showrooms had carpet samples placed under every bike to catch the oil drips. (5) If you had a ten-dollar head you wore a ten-dollar helmet, if not you wore a Bell. (6) You offered your local Triumph dealer 1400 cash for that new Bonneville out the door. (7) He took it. (8) You went down to your local Harley dealer and there were a 42 JULY 2008 Presents Bench Racing By: Mark Zimmerman bunch of guys in matching uniforms, including caps and neckties, that weren’t there to arrest anyone. (9) Club ‘colors’ consisted of riding breeches and matching shirts, ties and caps. (10) You know what a ‘snuff or not’ is. (11) You actually owned a bike that had ‘snuff or nots’. (12) You bought a BMW because it was the only bike on the market with shaft drive. (13) You bought a Triumph because it was a really good enduro bike. (14) You know what an enduro is. (15) You rode enduros’. (16) You sold that Triumph to buy a DT250 Yamaha. (17) You installed a “GYT” (git) Kit on your new Yamaha. (18) You know what GYT stands for. (19) You know what scrambles are. (20) You actually rode scrambles. (21) Your DT250 got dusted by a Pursang at the local scrambles. (22) You actually looked at someone’s GoldStar and thought, ‘nice bike too bad it’s so outdated.’ (23) You rode a GoldStar, in an I WALNECKS.COM I WALNECK’S CLASSIC CYCLE TRADER® http://WALNECKS.COM
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