Downtown Tucsonan - July/August 2008 - (Page 8) Vital Signs The Invisible Man By Thomas Whittingslow t is 105 degrees outside. Paul Hawley, a mavera (an organization that helps people transition from heavy-set man wearing blue jeans and sus- poverty to greater well-being). I was one of their first clipenders, is sitting on a futon in front of a ents back when they only had 40 or 50 beds. after a bad wall-mounted air conditioner. He is one of divorce that wrecked my credit I wandered back in to town those special men that make a difference but not neces- in october 2001. I went to the Va and checked myself sarily news — his story has been passed over by the major in — I was in pretty bad shape physically and mentally and newspapers several times. spent some time in the psych ward. they put me on a waitcool as a cucumber, he said, “I’ll tell you my story.” while ing list for a homeless program and got me into Primavera he appears to be in his mid-forties, Hawley is actually a bit again.” after more than 30 years spent drinking, carousing older and has lived more lives than most people. He has and being a vagabond, Hawley says, “at age 47 I decided been shot, stabbed and beaten down by professionals. In then and there that I’d had enough. I was just too old, too his relatively short life he has conquered diabetes, sco- tired to be doing this.” Paul has been in treatment for six and a half years — it liosis, type c Hepatitis, survived homelessness in a score of cities, including a small town in western Pennsylvania took three attempts before it worked. He no longer attends where he had to sleep in church to keep from freezing aa meetings; instead he attends counseling and goes to to death. “It was the only door that was unlocked,” he said. “I started drinking communion wine when I was eight or nine. My mother baked unleavened bread and my dad bought the wine. But I didn’t really start drinking seriously until I was 15. then, because I was a big kid, I passed for 21. I was drinking in bars,” he says, with his infectious laugh. aside from the church communion wine, he was brought up in total abstinence. there was no history of alcoholism in his family and Paul doesn’t know where the disease came from. “when I was about 14 years old my dad began to farm me out with his traveling missionary friends during the summer so that I would stay out of trouble.” Hawley joined the army when he was 17. at one time Hawley worked on an off-shore oil rig where he experienced his first hurricane. “It was in the Gulf of Mexico… 125 miles off the coast of Louisiana. It was the most awful night of my life. they rode out the storm bouncing on the surface of the gulf, crammed into a small metal ball along with several other workers with only two small portholes. “Everybody got sick,” he said. sixteen hours later they found themselves in Galveston. Paul came to tucson, looking for an old army buddy, a full-blooded Pima Indian who told him that tucson was just about the greatest. He never found his buddy but discovered paul hawley a new life in tucson. at the time Hawley had gone through two marriages and divorces and was just out of jail in El Paso where he was being held on church two times a week. Every three months he sees a a weapons charge. He had a dollar and forty-seven cents psychiatrist at the Va and a counselor at the homeless proand a half pack of cigarettes and a backpack full of clothes gram. He is no longer an active member of the homeless when he arrived in the old Pueblo. “a guy let me off at program because he is no longer homeless — he attends 22nd and the freeway in november 1987.” Like many home- because he wants to remind himself where he as been. less, Paul slept down by the santa cruz River on the west Hawley lives alone in a one-bedroom mid-town apartment side of downtown. In the summers, when it was too hot he with his fat cat. as a Vietnam veteran on full disability, Hawley is far spent a lot of time at the library or the Park Mall. tucson from idle. when Paul was attending a transitional housis no different than any other city when it comes to homeless people. “I was out in Vegas and saw a lot of homeless ing program called Escalante & Esperanza, he met Michael people out there. Like snowbirds,” he says,” they flock into “Mic” Brewer. the Escalante program takes in veterans and town in the winter to escape cold — they try to get out in charges them for rent on a sliding scale, according to how much money they make. If they don’t make anything — the summer before it becomes too hellish.” “I’ve been on the streets of tucson for many years. I program will help them find a job. Brewer recruited Paul spent my time just walking around until I discovered Pri- to be a volunteer for downtown events through the tucson i downtown alliance, now the downtown tucson Partnership. Hawley works full-time as a volunteer for several programs, one of which is special events put on by the downtown tucson Partnership. at May’s tucson thunder event, he set up the layout for the vendors’ village. and you’ve probably seen him at any of downtown’s special events like El tour de tucson or the Parade of Lights and the tucson Madonnari chalk art Festival. Hawley is one of the lucky ones who made it out. no longer invisible, he is an integral part of the downtown tucson Partnership’s volunteer program. “From my perspective as the coordinator of volunteers, Paul’s loyalty is astounding; his reliability is second to none. He is giving back what he received,” said Michael “Mic” Brewer. Brewer is the chaplain for the united states Marine corps Veterans in southern arizona and head of the downtown tucson Partnership Volunteers. Brewer maintains a modest office in La Placita’s historic stables area near the tucson Visitors center and the Partnership office. “Paul has been a very reliable volunteer for us,” says donovan durband, Executive director of the downtown tucson Partnership. “He’s eager to sign up for assignments, and when he’s on the job, he is enthusiastic and helpful in engaging the public, giving them information about downtown and what’s happening. He’s very helpful in a variety of ways, whether it’s moving equipment or setting up booths and so forth. He clearly enjoys volunteering and it shows in his friendly and helpful demeanor.” Paul just graduated from Pima college with honors in applied science, computer Graphic design. He maintained a 3.7 grade point average. “the inspiration and desire has to come from oneself, not because someone told you to do it. court-appointed treatment and those kinds of thing don’t do any good if you’re not self-motivated.” For a graduation present Hawley gave himself a trip to Las Vegas. “I can never repay for the wrongs that I’ve done in my life. I can only change who I am. Mine is a life renewed. If I hadn’t discovered true spirituality in my life, I wouldn’t be here. I would be out there on the street with those other guys looking for another drink or another joint.” His next step: “I’m going on to Prescott college to get a bachelor’s degree in ecological design. “Everybody’s going green right now – sustainable communities, recycled materials. He also looks forward to working with the downtown Literacy Program several people have suggested that Paul become a counselor, but there is logic to his reasoning that such a profession is not for him. “It’s a process that never comes to completion. with my history, I need a sense of completion. I need tangible goals that I can complete, then go on to another goal.” we asked Hawley what homeless life is like. He didn’t hesitate. “absolute boredom. It’s like living in an outdoor prison. there are no bars or no walls but there are psychological bars and social bars around you. You’re invisible.” 8 downtown tucsonan.july/august.08
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