Surgery News - December 2007 - (Page 18)

18 PRACTICE TRENDS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE SURGERY NEWS • D E C E M B E R 2 0 0 7 Navigating Life as a Single Father r. Steve S. Sommer can’t recall feel- without necessarily prioritizing the chiling more alone than in 1997, when dren’s need for frequent contact with both he became a single father after sep- parents.” Dr. Sommer noted some good navigaarating from his wife of many years. The couple’s older daughter was 9 years old at tional tools for single fathers, including the time, and their boy-girl twins were 4 Fathers and Families (www.fathersandfamilies.org), led by Dr. Ned Holstein; years old. “It was hard,” said Dr. Sommer, who Breakthrough Parenting (www.breakchairs the departments of molecular diag- throughparentingservices.com) and Stop nosis and molecular genetics at the City of Parental Alienation of Children (www.stopHope National Medical Center in Duarte, parentalalienation.org), both led by Jayne Calif. “I had to fight hard for equal par- A. Major, Ph.D.; His Side with Glenn Sacks (www.hisside.com); and the enting time, losing most of my book “Father and Child Relife savings in the process. I union” by Warren Farrell, Ph.D. walked a tightrope between (Los Angeles: Tarcher, 2001). professional responsibilities and He also recommends the film spending time with my chil“Jake’s Closet,” written and didren on the custody schedule.” rected by Shelli Ryan (www. The marriage fell apart jakesclosetmovie.com), which shortly after Dr. Sommer and premiered in July 2007 at the his family had moved to SouthDances With Films festival in ern California from Minnesota. Because he was new to the ‘I had to fight hard Los Angeles. The film “is an area, Dr. Sommer lacked a for equal parenting artistic enactment from the child’s perspective of the increstrong social support network. time, losing most “My aging parents and two of my life savings mentally evolving alienating dynamics that occur all too fregood friends provided emoin the process.’ quently during divorce,” Dr. tional support long distance, DR. SOMMER Sommer said. “Education and and I found a fantastic nanny/housekeeper, who helped me to sup- networking are key. Don’t passively rely on a family law attorney. Better insight early on port the needs of the children,” he said. For many years, the children commut- might have saved me much heartache. “My children somehow managed to ed the 15 minutes between their two homes. During most of that period, Dr. overcome the emotional stress of the famSommer had the children after school on ily break; they’re great kids, and I am weekdays through dinner time and on proud of them. I’m grateful for this outcome, and I consider myself luckier than Friday night through Saturday. Nowadays, he sees his children much many.” less frequently because his former spouse has moved away from the area. “Millions A Big Dose of Humility of children of divorce experience the fam- In 2001, Dr. John Whelan was stunned to ily tragedy of move aways,” he said. “Some learn that his former spouse would have move aways are motivated by diminish- provisional custody of their 2-year-old ment or exclusion of the role of the other son, Olivier, while their divorce was parent or by various personal choices, pending. D STUDENT MANUAL, 7TH The ATLS® Program was developed to teach doctors one safe, reliable method for assessing and initially managing the trauma patient. The course teaches an organized approach for evaluation and management of seriously injured patients and offers a foundation of common knowledge for all members of the trauma team. The emphasis is on the critical “ﬁrst hour” of care, focusing on initial assessment, lifesaving intervention, reevaluation, stabilization, and, when needed, transfer to a trauma center. This publication, in its 7th edition, was written for use in ATLS Student Courses and is updated approximately every four years. Price: $80 each ATLS FOR DOCTORS NOW AVAILABLE : “I subsequently discovered that’s routine,” said Dr. Whelan, a pediatric rheumatologist at the MassGeneral Hospital for Children in Boston. “Unless a mother has a drug use history or is imprisoned, my understanding is that the mother always gets provisional physical custody and the father becomes the Dr. John Whelan and his son, Olivier, celebrate the 200th noncustodial par- birthday of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in Sudbury, Mass. ent while the divorce is pending,” he said. Olivier, who turns 8 in October, plays “For a period of about 2 years, I was ba- soccer, Little League baseball, and piano. sically the second-class parent until the “Before that, he took weekly music classwhole divorce was resolved.” es at a local music conservatory,” Dr. The court ultimately ruled that the par- Whelan said. “Music has been a big part ents would have joint physical custody, of our life. He’s been to Boston Sympho“but that is a rare thing in Massachusetts,” ny Hall a couple of dozen times. He can he said. “Only 6% of divorces involving sit through a 2-hour Wagner concert, children in Massachusetts are said to result which is amazing.” in joint physical custody.” Last year, they took a weekly Mandarin Today, Olivier resides with Dr. Whelan Chinese class together, and Olivier is ful3 nights a week, and for vacations. His ly fluent in French. former spouse watches their son generDr. Whelan described his relationship ally after school during the week. with his former spouse as “conciliatory,” “My son and I have a close relationship,” which “is so critical to the well-being of Dr. Whelan said. “Part of it is a result of children who are living in a two-household the fact that when he’s with me, I do noth- situation. Do whatever you can to remain ing else: I spend whole weekends at a time on good terms with your former spouse.” with him. He advised physicians new to the single “I do take him on rounds with me oc- father role to assemble “several tiers of casionally when I’m covering call on the babysitters and contingency plans for weekend. He enjoys going to the hospital those times when you get called into the and it helps that I’m in pediatrics. I can emergency room in the middle of the come into a room with a child patient and night.” it’s very reassuring to these young kids to For him, the road to becoming a single see that I have a ‘child assistant.’ ” father brought a big dose of humility. “As a doctor, you are used to being treated with deference,” he said. “People trust your judgment; they look up to you. To be in a situation where your judgment often is questioned and you’re not respected can be somewhat humiliating. If you are able to go at it [in] a humble frame of mind and keep your sense of humor, then you’ll probably come out a lot better off than if EDITION you follow the human instinct to fight back and constantly defend your honor. It seems to me that doing what’s best for your child and nurturing that strong relationship is the deepest balm for all the other challenges we face as doctors.” ■ By Doug Brunk, Elsevier Global Medical News E - M A I L U S YO U R S TO R I E S Did you learn to pilot a jet when the Air Force put you through medical school? Or do you prefer flying a Piper Cub in the Alaska bush? Whether you are a modern day Sky King or a test pilot wannabe, please send your stories to d.brunk@elsevier.com. To obtain an ATLS for Doctors Student Manual, visit the American College of Surgeons online publication catalog at: https://web2.facs.org/timssnet464/acspub/frontpage.cfm?product_class=trauma COURTESY DR. JOHN WHELAN http://www.breakthroughparentingservices.com http://www.breakthroughparentingservices.com http://www.hisside.com http://www.jakesclosetmovie.com http://www.jakesclosetmovie.com https://web2.facs.org/timssnet464/acspub/frontpage.cfm?product_class=trauma https://web2.facs.org/timssnet464/acspub/frontpage.cfm?product_class=trauma

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Surgery News - December 2007

Surgery News - December 2007 Contents Breast Radiation Boost Cuts Cancer Recurrence Mortality Soars in Some Patients With Respiratory Distress New Codes Promote Alcohol Screening New Ideas News From the College: Quality Standards General Surgery: Helping Hand Trauma: Spleen Protocol

Surgery News - December 2007

For optimal viewing of this digital publication, please enable JavaScript and then refresh the page. If you would like to try to load the digital publication without using Flash Player detection, please click here.