Women's Focus - January 2008 - (Page 20)

focus on H E A LT H There is something that is driving me crazy about my husband. My first wedding band set he bought when we were 19 and he made a first year military salary. My fingers outgrew the ring over 15 years ago. My mom gave me the engagement ring that My father gave her to wear on my ‘naked wedding ring finger’. My father past away when I was 16, so I was honored to have the ring to wear while my husband searched for the perfect ring for me. Three weeks ago, after over 10 years of wearing that ring, it finally had to be cut off by my physician. I have sent my husband pictures via email of the type of ring I would like. I have talked to him about how much I would like a wedding set, and all of this was talked about BEFORE I had to get my ‘mom’s ring cut from my finger. He works in a top Government position, it’s not like we are living hand-to-mouth. We actually got in an argument over this last night. I just If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, Dick and Jane are out of this world. Pick their brains and you may just reach a new understanding of the cosmic forces at work in the battle of the sexes. They may – or may not – speak your language, but at least you will discover you are not alone in the universe. What would you do about a mother-in-law that calls constantly - almost every evening - requesting your husband (her son) do minor “honey-dos” for her? She even says she should come before his wife and my husband denies this happens! She is active and financially able to hire a handyman. d i c k : Why does it bother you? Is he not doing stopped talking because I feel I will never get one anyway. I was approached by men when I had a ring on, and now when I do not, I get approached more frequently. I am younglooking for my age, and take care of myself. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I do not nag him, I have sent him in the past five years maybe three emails with a picture of the kind of ring I would like. This is really putting a lot of resentment towards him, and the way I react to him. Please help me – I need assistance from both sides of the fence. d i c k : If money is not the issue, go buy your- Why do women worry so much about every little thing, while men seem to never worry about anything? d i c k : Men are more willing to accept and deal with a bad result or consequence. Women are too worried about what other people might think. Men just seem to see things in more black and white leaving the grey areas to chance. j a n e : Women are the nurturers. In nurturing self a ring. You were OK with a ring from your mom so go buy a ring. Why would a ring from your husband that has no meaning to him have any meaning to you? Men being, or not being, attracted to you is totally irrelevant. Are you looking for someone else to buy you a ring? j a n e : The wedding ring is a recognized symbol your honey-dos? Does he put his mom before you? If so, he is dead wrong. I understand your pain, marriage is tough enough without a third party interfering. All you can do is tell him you appreciate him taking care of his mother, but you need to be the most important person in his life.. j a n e : Sounds like his mom is having some i n d u l g e y o u r s e l f • Wo m e n s F o c u s . c o m • J A N U A RY 2 0 0 8 our young we develop a sixth sense to ward off danger. The problem is there aren’t too many saber tooth tigers lurking in the bushes ready to pounce on our children any more. So, we compensate by being overly cautious in all other aspects of our lives. Will that jacket keep my daughter warm on the playground? Will hubby wreck the car while hurrying to get to work on time? Will our son break his arm climbing that tree? The guys got the testosterone (test-outerone), while we got the estrogen (extra-gen?). Bottom line, while the “boys” are out playing bone-breaking sports, we “girls” are home worrying so they don’t have to. Please help me with this ‘issue’ that I am really struggling with. I am in my early 40s and have been married for 23 years. My husband and I have five children 20-10 and are expecting our first grandchild in June. in our society, but it doesn’t make us any more or less married. Nix the emails, that is definitely not working. If possible, have your original ring set resized. If not, then perhaps you could purchase a simple band so your finger is no longer naked. Make time for you two alone, without kids and interruptions, and can tell him how important this is to you. If it’s not important to him, then see if he will tell you why. Above all, listen to one another. trouble letting go, and if hubby doesn’t even realize it, there’s no good way for you to fix it. If there’s a calendar on the fridge, jot down a note every day he pops over to do something. Monday: fixed Mom’s guttering. Wednesday: Fixed Mom’s sink. By the end of the month, one of you will see that either you’re exaggerating the situation, or he needs to let mom know he has his own honey to do for now. Maybe a compromise could be that he comes over one Saturday a month and helps whittle down the list. If a problem is more urgent, suggest a reputable handyman. Send your questions to Dick and Jane online at focuson.com or mail to 2420 N. Woodlawn, Building 500, Wichita Kansas 67220. The opinions and advice contained in this column are those expressed exclusively by the authors and not representative of the publishing company as a whole, its members or partners. 20 http://WomensFocus.com http://focuson.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Women's Focus - January 2008

Womens Focus - January 2008 Contents BEAUTY & FASHION Retro Do’s Are Big News Vintage Vogue Wichita’s Next Top Model Contest FACTS & FUN The Housewife is Back FLAVOR A Taste of History Cocktail Anyone? FAMILY & FRIENDS Forget-Me-Not Gal Shakila Saiffulah In Her Shoes—Wink Hartman Reba McEntire Social Circle HEALTH Abs From the Past Ask Dick & Jane Home Remedies Team in Training HOME & GARDEN From Warm Fires to Pool Parties Furniture Frolic Retro Houseplants There's More to Color Than Meets the Eye TRAVEL & LEISURE City Culture Crafts: Faux Pearl Makeover Day Tripping in Newton Knightley Reading

Women's Focus - January 2008

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