Women's Focus - February 2008 - (Page 8)

focus on H E A LT H Over the years my wife has put on weight. A lot of it. I love her, that hasn’t changed. But her weight does bother me. I know we all put on a few pounds as we get older, but when a few becomes 100, something has to change. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, she feels bad enough about herself as it is, but I’m starting to resent it every time I see her eating donuts and chips. I try to get her to work out with me, but she refuses. And me getting into better shape just seems to make it worse. We are growing apart and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s like not only does she not care about herself, she doesn’t care what letting herself go is doing to me, and to us. D I C K : That’s a tough one. Unfortunately its’ not a problem that you can solve. Its’ very hard for someone to show respect for someone else until they respect themselves. She needs to want to take care of herself for herself ﬁrst and for you second. Having said that, hang in If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, Dick and Jane are out of this world. Pick their brains and you may just reach a new understanding of the cosmic forces at work in the battle of the sexes. They may—or may not—speak there, ask her to take walks with you, ask her to your language, but at least you will discover you are not alone in the universe. make you healthier foods, tell her to quit buyMy boyfriend and I have dated for several years. A couple of months ago he said he needed some “space.” He owns his own business and says we spend too much time together and he really needs to focus on his company. I have my own job so it’s not like we spend every waking moment together. He has said this to me a few times over the years and I have tried to reduce the demands I make on his time. We only see each other 2 –3 times a week now. I really love him and if he needs to take a break, I feel I should wait for him and be supportive. Especially if he is trying to build something for our future together. Although, honestly he never talks about a long-term commitment and makes a joke whenever I bring it up. My friends say he is just using me and I am being a fool. What do you think? D I C K : Are you satisﬁed with 2-3 days per week? Obviously not. I would concentrate on fulﬁlling ing the junk food because it is too tempting for you. Have her go get a physical, tell her you are concerned about her health and that you want her to be around for years to come. Maybe she has a medical issue that she needs to address. Good luck! J A N E : There are lots of reasons why people your needs and dreams. It sounds like he is fulﬁlling his. Have a sit down with yourself and make some selﬁsh decisions. After all, your happiness is what we are discussing. Tell him what your needs are and see if you can ﬁnd a happy medium. If he does not satisfy YOUR needs it most likely will never work. Good Luck! J A N E : Looks like you should consider making the most of your time and space apart. Don’t sit i n d u l g e y o u r s e l f • Wo m e n s F o c u s . c o m • F E B R U A RY 2 0 0 8 around waiting on someone who doesn’t appear to be committed to a long-term relationship with you. We humans have an enormous capacity for love, so have some fun, by yourself, with your friends, with other guys if you meet someone interesting. Give him his space and he’ll either realize that he loves you, too, or not. Either way, don’t wait around for him to ﬁnd time for you. Make the most of your time and your self. My girlfriend is dropping hints about expensive jewelry for Valentine’s Day. If I just can’t afford what she has in mind, is it going to be okay with her? This importance on a gift really drives me crazy. It’s supposed to be the thought that counts, right? Any suggestions for me? D I C K : Real simple. Buy something that is a gift from your heart that meets your budget and don’t over eat. Stress is only one. The big question is why she is overeating? Does she feel healthy and strong? Probably not, so her health is at risk. Society shows us unrealistic images with brushed out skin folds and wrinkles and our self esteem takes a dive. Once you dive into the deep end it’s very hard to swim out. That weight doesn’t go on quickly and it comes off even slower as we age. Perhaps you should both review your expectations. Are they realistic? If she’s not comfortable going to the gym, take her for romantic walks in the park. If the weather is bad, make a trip to the mall to window shop. Show her your love. She may feel so bad about her self image that she can’t believe you really love her. Buy her some nice costume jewelry and some good walking shoes. Take her dancing. Once she realizes you really do love her it will be easier for her to love herself, and that’s the ﬁrst step. think another thing about it. If she gets upset, she needs to review her priorities and you need to ﬁnd someone that just appreciates being with you. P.S. No kitchen appliances!!! J A N E : Talk about it. Let her know you are on a budget, and while you’d like to buy her platinum Send your questions to Dick and Jane online at focuson.com or mail to 2420 N. Woodlawn, and diamonds you can’t. Some of my favorite jewelry are funky pieces from places like Lucinda’s, Building 500, Wichita Kansas 67220. Aida’s and Best of Times. Take her shopping for some fun jewelry that doesn’t cost your arms, legs, and both feet. She’ll know you care and want to get her something nice. There are great boutiques all over town with beads and reasonably priced bangles that will make her feel pretty and loved. The opinions and advice contained in this column are those expressed exclusively by the authors and not representative of the publishing company as a whole, its members or partners. 8 http://www.womensfocus.com http://focuson.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Women's Focus - February 2008

Women's Focus - February 2008 Contents Ask Dick & Jane Romance Versus Reality Valentine’s Day—A Single Girl’s Survival Guide Habitat For Humanity—Women Build 2008 Body Beautiful Knightley Reading 12 Months of Shoes Sierra’s Stars City Culture Day Tripping: Hesston, Kansas In Her Shoes—Dr. David Rosen Tokens of Affection for Him & Her Making a Difference in the Community Forget-Me-Not—Sara Paretsky For the Love of Dance—Miss Diane Gann Wichita’s Next Top Model Contest Love Gardening? Join the Club! Indulge Yourself Yoga for Two Workout Journals When “No” Means NO! Something to Smile About A Romantic Valentine’s Dinner for Four Crafts: Bee Mine Valentine Social Circle Save the Date

Women's Focus - February 2008

For optimal viewing of this digital publication, please enable JavaScript and then refresh the page. If you would like to try to load the digital publication without using Flash Player detection, please click here.