Grand Magazine - July/August 2008 - (Page 2)

grand view Love is all that’s left Harriet “Hal” Micocci with daughter-in-law Christine Crosby, March 2008. I effective with this issue, GRaND will be available in digital format and accessible to grandparents worldwide! Visit www. grandmagazine.com and sign up to receive this rich media and interactive experience—and tell your grand friends. usually take this space to share the many things we have in common as grandparents—the joys and challenges of being grands and managing our lives and families. This time, I’d like to share something else that many of us also have in common: a parent with Alzheimer’s disease. An estimated 5 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s today, with the number expected to quadruple by mid-century. Families across the country face the prospect of looking on as loved ones are slowly, painfully and irreversibly lost in the fog of dementia. One winter afternoon five years ago, my motherin-law, “Hal,” then age 89, slipped on the ice in Washington, D.C., as she rushed to her car to start the heater so that her 88-year-old friend following along behind her would get into a warm car. Hal woke up in the hospital; as her family gathered around her, we discovered her terrible secret. Her pelvis was fractured, but that was the least of her problems. For the first time, she was not able to mask the Alzheimer’s disease that had been slowly taking over her mind. Flash forward: Today Hal—Mom—has been relocated to Florida to be near her youngest son— my husband—and me; we daily supervise her care. Mom has enjoyed good physical health and has round-the-clock caregivers. She lives in her own home surrounded by her own things, complete with numerous stuffed animals that she chats with as they welcome her to bed each night. While on the outside it looks as though she has, literally, all the comforts of home, she is alone in a world where she doesn’t know anyone, she doesn’t remember what is happening from minute to minute and she has no control over what happens next. Just for a moment, try to think what that must be like. Harriet Palmer Micocci, a graduate of Smith College, traveled the world for pleasure and for her work for the State Department. She raised three successful children with a loving husband, whom she outlived, and welcomed into her world three grandchildren. A published author, Hal completed The New York Times crossword puzzle daily—in ink— and could regularly beat the pants off everyone in Scrabble. Annually, she drove herself from Maine to Florida with her golden retriever; she attended plays, was politically active, provided a home to numerous college students and enjoyed an active social life. So, what went wrong—and why? During the past five years, I’ve learned a lot about Alzheimer’s and the terrible toll it takes on its victims, robbing them of their precious memories, the safety and security of knowing who and where they are, and who other people are. The disease denies them their dignity and renders them helpless to society’s lack of understanding. Victims are humiliated at their inability to communicate, control bodily functions and feed or care for themselves. But the disease does something else even more tragic. It can destroy the victims’ emotional connections with family and friends. Confusion, guilt, fear, ignorance and embarrassment often prevent loved ones from providing the last pleasure Alzheimer victims may be able to enjoy: experiencing the nourishment of love. After I read Finding Life in the Land of Alzheimer’s: One Daughter’s Hopeful Story by Lauren Kessler (Penguin Books), a door of understanding opened for me. I’m highly motivated to share Kessler’s story with you. If you have a loved one with AD (or even if you don’t), read this book of unforgettable perspectives on this devastating affliction. Please visit www.grandmagazine.com to review our GRAND list of Alzheimer resources. And, if you haven’t already, please take a few minutes to visit page 13 and nominate that special grandparent for our 2008 GRANDparent of the Year Award. My best to you and your family, Christine Crosby, Publisher 2 GRAND JULY AUGUST 2008 http://www.grandmagazine.com http://www.grandmagazine.com http://www.grandmagazine.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Grand Magazine - July/August 2008

Grand Magazine - July/August 2008 Contents Grand View: Love Is All That's Left Isn't It Grand?: Reassessing the Postponed Life Grand Central Just So We Know: One Mixed-Up Lemon Long-Distance Love: Cuttings Ask Grand: Stuck on Stuff Grand Gestures: "Thanks for the Ugly Gift" Tips on Teens: All That Doesn't Meet the Eye Live Long and Propser On the Cover: Peter Yarrow Presents of Mine Thicker Than Water? Reunions: White Water, White Knuckles The Grand Gourmet So We Are Not Alone Looking Grand: Suit-Able Grandbloggers: Why Watch TV When We Can Talk? Grand Bazaar Resources Grand Finale: What Boat

Grand Magazine - July/August 2008

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