GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - (Page 30) ask grand The toxic mom By LiLLian Carson When a noncustodial parent undermines the children’s emotional development, it’s time to say, “Enough.” Q We are struggling with a very difficult problem. By court order, our three grandchildren, 6, 7 and 9 years old, have lived with us for five years. this was precipitated by a traumatic tirade by the mother’s boyfriend in the middle of the night when he grabbed a hammer, smashed windows above the children as they slept and dragged them out of bed and around the house. the mother managed to flee into the cold, wet night with the children. the children’s father, our son, blamed himself for this event and went into a deep depression and refuses help. our grandchildren’s mother has never been able to care for them properly and has become worse through the years. she continually disappoints the children by failing to show up as promised and makes excuses with lies the children see through. this often leaves them grief stricken and inconsolable. We understand that the children need their mother, but how can we protect them from continual disappointment? in and raising your grandchildren. Your grandchildren have been severely traumatized by the loss of their mother and the diminished condition of their father. The children’s behavior indicates they are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Current research on PTSD explains that this anxiety disorder develops after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. A My hat’s off to you for stepping Their memories and persistent frightening thoughts remain and, in attempts to escape the pain, lead to emotional numbing. They may also have sleep problems and may startle easily. The ongoing trauma your grandchildren are experiencing must be stopped. You have given the mother five years to “get her act together,” and she’s been unable to do so. Yes, children need their mothers—but her behavior is emotional abuse. She is a toxic influence. The intense feelings of rejection her actions 30 GRAND APRIL 2009 Click and connect to more resources instantly where you see this symbol:
Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - April 2009 GRAND Magazine - April 2009 GRAND View Contents GRAND Central Editor's Podcast Lettuce Love You Bewitched, Betwixt and Tween Ask Grand: The Toxic Mom The Breakfast Club Sibling Boosters Will They Be Misfits? A Return to Elegance What Makes Us Sick? A Quiz Resources GRAND Finale GRAND Magazine - April 2009 GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - (Page Intro) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND Magazine - April 2009 (Page Cover1) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND Magazine - April 2009 (Page Cover2) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND Magazine - April 2009 (Page 3) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND View (Page 4) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND View (Page 5) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Contents (Page 6) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Contents (Page 7) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Contents (Page 8) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Contents (Page 9) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Contents (Page 10) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Contents (Page 11) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Contents (Page 12) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND Central (Page 13) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND Central (Page 14) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Editor's Podcast (Page 15) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Editor's Podcast (Page 16) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Editor's Podcast (Page 17) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Editor's Podcast (Page 18) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Editor's Podcast (Page 19) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Lettuce Love You (Page 20) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Lettuce Love You (Page 21) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Lettuce Love You (Page 22) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Lettuce Love You (Page 23) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Lettuce Love You (Page 24) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Lettuce Love You (Page 25) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Bewitched, Betwixt and Tween (Page 26) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Bewitched, Betwixt and Tween (Page 27) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Bewitched, Betwixt and Tween (Page 28) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Bewitched, Betwixt and Tween (Page 29) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Ask Grand: The Toxic Mom (Page 30) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Ask Grand: The Toxic Mom (Page 31) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - The Breakfast Club (Page 32) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - The Breakfast Club (Page 33) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Sibling Boosters (Page 34) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Sibling Boosters (Page 35) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Will They Be Misfits? (Page 36) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Will They Be Misfits? (Page 37) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Will They Be Misfits? (Page 38) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Will They Be Misfits? (Page 39) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - A Return to Elegance (Page 40) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - A Return to Elegance (Page 41) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - What Makes Us Sick? A Quiz (Page 42) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - What Makes Us Sick? A Quiz (Page 43) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - What Makes Us Sick? A Quiz (Page 44) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - What Makes Us Sick? A Quiz (Page 45) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - What Makes Us Sick? A Quiz (Page 46) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Resources (Page 47) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Resources (Page 48) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - Resources (Page 49) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND Finale (Page 50) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND Finale (Page Cover3) GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - GRAND Finale (Page Cover4)
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