GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - (Page 31)

First Person Click here to read the full letter written by this issue’s questioner, Australian grandmother Cheryl Wright. GO create in the children cause them to experience repeated fears of abandonment and grief at being unloved and unlovable. Their self-esteem is threatened. This cycle revives their panic disorder. It may lead to depression and even suicidal feelings. It is doubly injurious because it prevents healing, like salt in a wound. In their book on behalf of children’s rights, Beyond the Best Interests of the Child , Joseph Goldstein, Anna Freud and Albert J. Solnit assert that when assessing a child’s situation, a child’s needs must remain paramount. The authors advise removing disruptive parents and others from their lives. Basic needs for healthy development include a stable environment, people to love and receive affection from, and the need to be accepted, valued and wanted. You are providing for these needs and must not allow your efforts to be undermined. Tell the children that even though their mother tries to see them, her problems prevent her from keeping her promises, and because that is so upsetting, for now there are no plans to see her. Acknowledging this reality will help your grandchildren validate their own feelings of abandonment and loss and will aid in relieving their guilt over their anger at their mother. Getting this out in the open will also encourage ongoing discussions about their feelings. Additionally, psychotherapy (talk therapy and play therapy) is one of the most effective treatments for PTSD. Each child should be treated by a PTSDexperienced mental health care provider. You are to be commended for providing a loving and safe home for your grandchildren. Because keeping them from the toxic influence of their mother is critical for their eventual healing, remain steadfast. But be hopeful that someday things may change. G Power when you need it. Big Hill? w w w. R ew a r d s O f H o m e . c o m No Problem This finely crafted adult electric tricycle provides added stability for big hills and long distances. The best bike on the market - fun, economical, and environmentally friendly. All with an extraordinary factory warranty and an unbeatable price Just $1,299! Order within 30 days and save $100! APRIL 2009 GRAND 31 http://www.grandmagazine.com/article.asp?id=161 http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Interests-Child-Joseph-Goldstein/dp/0029123607 http://www.RewardsOfHome.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - April 2009

GRAND Magazine - April 2009 GRAND View Contents GRAND Central Editor's Podcast Lettuce Love You Bewitched, Betwixt and Tween Ask Grand: The Toxic Mom The Breakfast Club Sibling Boosters Will They Be Misfits? A Return to Elegance What Makes Us Sick? A Quiz Resources GRAND Finale

GRAND Magazine - April 2009

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