GRAND Magazine - April 2009 - 22

cover story Although Hank and Pamela had been born and raised in the same Ohio town—and had attended the same high school—they didn’t meet until Hank’s 10-year reunion. Pam’s date, a classmate of Hank’s, introduced them; they fell in love and married. Within a month of their wedding, Hank’s two children, a boy and a girl, 8 and 11 years old, whom he had lost custody of in his divorce, came to live with them. Pamela, who had been unable to have children of her own, was delighted. With two incomes and the cultural richness of a city, the family enjoyed the years in Atlanta. Then, after the children were out of school, the company Hank worked for was sold to a “We had an idea that something was wrong,” says Hank. “We would call and talk to Steven and he would tell knock-knock jokes. ‘Knock, knock,’ he would say. ‘Who’s there?’ ‘Lettuce.’ ‘Lettuce who?’ ‘Lettuce out of here!’ Stephanie wouldn’t talk; she screamed all the time. And the children were continuously being rushed to the hospital for broken bones and other various injuries. We had loved Steven and Stephanie since the moment they were born. We had to find them.” Hank and Pamela traveled to Alabama and learned that the local hospital had finally investigated the situation, had removed the children from their parents and had worked with social services to place them in foster For Pamela and Hank, everything changed the day they learned that their grandchildren—then ages 5 and 3 and living in Birmingham, Alabama—had been placed in foster care. business in Clearwater, Florida. Because the couple was established in the community in Atlanta, Hank moved to a small house in Clearwater; for a year and a half, Pamela flew down to Clearwater to be with Hank on the weekends. Their plan was to retire when Hank reached 55 and travel on motorcycles through 20 states. (They’d already biked through 30 and planned to complete the national tour.) But…life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. For Pamela and Hank, everything changed the day they learned that their grandchildren—then ages 5 and 3 and living in Birmingham, Alabama—had been placed in foster care. “We would call Hank’s daughter to talk with the grandchildren,” says Pamela, “and she would say the children couldn’t come to the phone, that they were out playing or some such excuse. Finally, after several weeks we said, ‘Put those children on the phone or we will come to Alabama!’” 22 GRAND APRIL care. The social workers were aware that the children had grandparents, but the parents had refused to release the contact information. Stephanie says, simply, “Mom made bad choices and didn’t keep us safe, so Grandma and Grandpa came and got us.” The children don’t know the full story, and Pamela and Hank want to keep it that way. The foster family wanted to adopt Steven and Stephanie, but Pamela and Hank were adamant: The children belonged with them. “Family takes care of family,” says Hank. “We had to have the kids because they are our family.” After spending thousands of dollars on legal fees, Hank and Pamela were awarded full custody of Steven and Stephanie in 2003. As they drove back to the small house in Clearwater, they kept repeating to each other, “We can do this, we can do this.” Just how they were going to “do this,” however, wasn’t yet clear. One week later, Hank quit his job and the 2009

GRAND Magazine - April 2009

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