GRAND Magazine - June 2009 - 43

Germany, decades of hard Communist rule ensued. My four grandparents, bless them forever, saved me from all of it. Yet, like my own sleeping grandchildren, I missed the value of this gift—missed it for years, in fact, until midlife. Only when the Berlin Wall came down in 1989 and, nation by nation, Communist regimes fell did I realize how much my grandparents had given me. Their hopeful act of emigration was the foundation of their legacy. My own motley legacy is humbler—now, it includes the search for the giant dawn bird. Campfires, canoeing and bike trips will follow. My wife’s birding, gardening, baking and singing are part of her legacy. All the good things we know our grandchildren will witness and, we hope, remember. At some point, far from city lights, as the night sky turns overwhelming, we’ll tell our grandchildren about the stars. As the campfire dies, we’ll point to the Milky Way. The Milky Way is a river, we might say: a river of stars. It began a long time before we came here, and it will go on long, long after we’re gone. We’ll be brief. Legacy is more about acts than words. Indeed, we may have little time left for words. Rogue black holes roam the galaxy. Vast, mysterious depths surround us. Life is short. Without dinosaur birds and star rivers, life is so much emptier. Awareness and appreciation—these timeless intangibles must get into our grandchildren’s little pockets. Who will do that? Parents? Maybe. Grandparents? We’d better. G We’ll be brief. Legacy is more about acts than words. Do Grandparents Have Custody Rights? Q A The best method for becoming your grandchild’s custodian is for his or her parents to designate you as the custodian and/or guardian under a “pre-need” designation. Such a designation typically has these characteristics: It is in writing and signed by both parents, or the surviving parent; it designates one or more persons to take responsibility for the welfare of the minor child; it provides when the pre-need designation applies (such as parental incapacity or death); and, it is witnessed by one or more adults. Although state laws and procedures may differ, a pre-need designation may be authorized for filing with the court in advance of the need, to be brought to the court’s attention upon the filing of a guardianship petition for the minor. If early filing is not authorized, the pre-need designation can be presented to the court when the need arises. The pre-need designation, as the parent or parents’ own wish for their child, typically gives the designated person priority to be appointed as guardian, but the judge may retain authority to make the final decision. Other family members, including other grandparents, may need to be notified of your request to become guardian, and you should expect the judge to consider any meritorious objections raised by others. An attorney who practices in the area of guardianships in your state can assist you in seeking to become guardian or custodian for your grandchild. GRANDPARTNERS FOR GRANDPARENTS I want to be sure that if anything ever happened to the parents of my grandchildren, I would get legal custody. How do I ensure that will happen? The information above is provided by Victoria E. Heuler, Tallahassee, Fla., member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, leading the way in special needs and elder law, www.NAELA.org. Leading the Way in Special Needs and Elder Law SM If you have a question about grandparent rights or other legal issues affecting you as a GRANDparent, please send to grand@grandmagazine.com JUNE 2009 GRAND 43

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GRAND Magazine - June 2009

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - June 2009