GRAND Magazine - September/October 2017 - 26

invisible grands

Keep the faith

Give a GRAND Gift

BY PAT HANSON, PH.D.

oes the restoration of friendly relations in your family seem impossible?
Hold out hope; reunion can and does
happen. It may start with an amends letter,
a phone call to show you care, or even news
of a relative's death. As Wayne Dwyer said, "If
you believe it, you'll see it."
An alienated grandmother's success story
Roberta found www.invisiblegrandparent.com
online. She was devastated. She'd been at
the birth of her daughter Carol's twin boys
on Valentine's Day 2014, but hadn't seen
them since.

She was a tough
teen to raise, all her
boyfriends were
losers.

"She was a tough teen to raise,"
Roberta said. "All her boyfriends were
losers. I've never allowed overnights in
our home. Partly because Roberta would
not allow Carol and her boyfriend to
move into her home, they moved an
hour away. For almost two years, her
daughter did not answer multiple phone
calls, letters or texts.
Then, Roberta's brother, Carol's
26 GRAND

SEPTEMBER OCTOBER 2017

uncle, passed away and to her surprise Carol, her
partner, and twin sons showed up at the funeral.
Mother and daughter began to communicate
and even visited on Valentine's Day 2016. But the
visits didn't continue. Whenever Roberta would
call Carol would say she couldn't talk, or she'd
make a date and then break it at the last minute.
Roberta was losing hope and kept repeating, "She's always chosen bad boyfriends, she'll

do it again." We reminded her not to verbalize
negative thoughts. At the close of every support group we offer prayers of hope, gratitude
for the connections between members, forgiveness of others and ourselves, and call upon
our faith to help us think of possibilities.

" "
Carol discovered
her boyfriend
had cheated on her.

Recently, Carol discovered her
boyfriend had cheated on her. She
took her babies to her mom's and for
about six weeks Roberta was doing
full-time childcare. She was exhausted
yet thrilled to be a grandmother.
Carol sought a restraining order
against the father of her twins because
he'd been violent with her. Roberta
accompanied Carol to court. Carol says
her family is now her priority.
At first Roberta told me she felt
embarrassed, even a little guilty to
share her success with the group
members, but I assured her she was an
inspiration. Last month she brought the
three-year-old twins and played with
them quietly during the meeting.

Are you cut
off from your
grandchildren?
Alienated
Grandparents
Anonymous (AGA) helps grandparents who want to be in the
lives of their grandchildren by
providing support and information. AGA originated in Collier
County, Florida in September
2011 and is a 501(c)3. Since
then they have grown to have
a presence in 50 states and 18
countries.

Dr. Pat Hanson is a seasoned health
educator, public speaker, and
workshop facilitator. She is the author
of Invisible Grandparenting: Leave A
Legacy Of Love Whether You Can Be
There or Not. She lectures nationally
on Aging Positively and is a columnist
for the magazine: Crone: Women
Coming of Age.

http://www.grandsub.com http://www.invisiblegrandparent.com/ http://www.aga-fl.org/ http://www.aga-fl.org/ https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Grandparenting-Leave-Legacy-Whether/dp/1935530836 https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Grandparenting-Leave-Legacy-Whether/dp/1935530836 https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Grandparenting-Leave-Legacy-Whether/dp/1935530836 http://www.cronemagazine.com/ http://www.cronemagazine.com/

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - September/October 2017