GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 32

grandpartner for grandparents

Adoption - breaking down the myths
BY BETSIE NORRIS

M

y search for my birthparents was a profound and emotional journey. I felt isolated, scared, excited, energized
and timid all at the same time. Was this a selfish quest
or a bold move that would result in a win-win? Where did I get
my red hair, who did I look like? What was my family medical
history? Was I Irish, as people often asked?

An Adoptee ROARed in Ohio: the Betsie Norris Story
The shroud of secrecy surrounding adoption seemed
impenetrable. Yet, I proceeded knowing in my core that while
not every story has a happy ending, truth is powerful and healing and, as an RN working in child psychiatry, that secrecy and
denial are not considered healthy in any school of psychology.
Why then were they expected to be the norm in our culture in
adoption?
32 GRAND

NOVEMBER DECEMBER 2017

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This was more than 30 years ago. I was in my 20s. My search took
a full year (today it would likely take a day) and its outcome was more
successful than I had ever even allowed myself to hope for.
"I've been praying for this call for 26 years," was my birth mother's response to my measured words introducing myself to her in
my first contact call.

"

"

The shroud of secrecy
surrounding adoption seemed
impenetrable.

I came to realize that adoption is a lifelong journey, rather than
the one-time legal event that was the popular notion at the time...
that as isolated as I felt as an adoptee who had questions, it was
the birth parents who bore the brunt of the stigma...that all of us
Erica Van Ee and her birthmother Maret Headley were
in the adoption "triad" - the adoptee, the adoptive parents, the
reunited in 2015
birthparents - had fears and insecurities and often internalized
PHOTO CREDIT: TAMARA'S CAMERA PHOTOGRAPHY
shame built on deep societal myths.
Longing for understanding and community I launched a nonand reunion, and more. We've changed the conversation. We've
profit organization and quickly learned through the hundreds of
empowered people to have a voice. We've built a community.
phone calls I received in the days following our first publicity just
For more information visit www.adoptionnetwork.org.
how many others were seeking the same - this was an idea whose
time had come. We were propelled forward into action.
Adoption truly is a lifelong journey. Together, over the last 30
years, we have changed state laws so that adult adoptees in Ohio
Having made the journey to a successful
can access critical information about their past, helped to find
reunion on her own, in 1988 Betsie Norris
founded Adoption Network Cleveland
families for hundreds of youth who all too often linger in foster
to provide support and assistance to
care and age-out with no family ties at all, supported adoptive
others who are touched by adoption.
families to be the stable and strong unit needed to raise chilBetsie is co-author with Jayne Schooler of
dren who have had a rough start, assisted thousands of adopJourneys After Adoption: Understanding
the Lifelong Process.
tees and birthparents through their life journeys including search


http://www.grandsub.com https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine/ https://www.twitter.com/grandMmagazine http://www.adoptionnetwork.org/ http://www.adoptionnetwork.org/ http://www.adoptionnetwork.org/ http://www.amzn.to/2zyG11s http://www.amzn.to/2zyG11s

GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017

Contents
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 1
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 2
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 3
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 5
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 6
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 7
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 8
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 9
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GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 10a
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GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 14
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 15
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 15A
GRAND Magazine - November/December 2017 - 16
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