GRAND Magazine - July/August 2018 - 5

spiritual life

10 ways to be more soul selfish every day
BY JANE WYKER

he word selfish has a bad rap. It brings to mind going for
what you want without considering the effects on others,
concerned only with your own pleasure or profit. But soul
selfish is the exact opposite of that. When we care for ourselves
and feel full and complete, our love, fun and service overflow to
others, happily benefiting them and ourselves.
Women especially are conditioned to give. But consider how
it would feel to continually exhale without inhaling. And why do
airlines suggest that we put our facemasks on first, before assisting others? Giving that is motivated by desire is a hugely different
experience from giving out of obligation. Are we giving simply
because we want to or are we seeking something in return?
Soul selfish means self-love. It is the key to personal happiness.
Taking care of our health and beauty, feeling fulfilled in developing
and utilizing our talents, prioritizing pleasure and balancing work and
relaxation ultimately contribute to our families, friends and communities. When we take care of our deepest desires, what is good for us
will be good for others. When we are lit up, we shine our light on all!

How do we become soul selfish?

1
2

Take 20 minutes of quiet time alone to listen to what's on

your mind - of course, without judgment! Sit, walk or run.
Whatever your choice, just listen to your thoughts.
Do some inner house cleaning. Can you imagine how
your house would look if you didn't clean it regularly? The
same is true of your inner home. If any "dirt" surfaces during that
quiet time, think of an action to let it go. Cry, punch a pillow, have
a clarifying or healing talk as soon as possible. Take exquisite care
of your inner home. It's where you live!
Remind yourself of what you are grateful for. Once you
start, you will be surprised at how your list keeps growing,
and how good it feels to focus on your good fortune. No matter

5 GRAND

MAY JUNE 2018

what your immediate circumstance, there is always something to
appreciate - a book you read that touched you, an unexpected
invitation. Gratitude is a guaranteed way to feel blessed.
Take an action that makes you feel beautiful. Soak in a
bubble bath, have a facial, style your
hair, go to a department store for a
make-up consult. Put on an
outfit that makes you feel
sexy. Beauty is power
at every age!

Who do you like to be with? What work or hobbies
interest you? What do you want to see or do? These

are important questions to explore. Call someone you enjoy and
haven't seen in a while. Is there an interest you're still waiting
to pursue? Are there places near or far that you want to visit? If
near, make it happen. If far away, what can you do now towards
making that trip a reality?
Exercise your creativity. Newness is a balm to the soul.
Cook a delicious meal. Design a bouquet of flowers. Plan a
special event or an outing. Put a new outfit together. Draw. Paint.
Dance. Sing. Play. Hint: Watch your grandchildren. They know how
to play and have fun.

Notice opportunities for new activities, people, places.

Is there anything you want to learn? Perhaps join a writing
group, a cooking class, a community outreach. Meeting new people
of all ages is broadening and enriching. You never know how interests and relationships develop once you take that first step.
Enjoy your sensual and sexual self. All your senses.
Surround yourself with beauty. Music that thrills you.
Foods that delight you. Scents that please you. Lots of hugs. The
touch of a loved one. Enjoy the pleasure of your beautiful body.
The first step is essential - 20 minutes of daily quiet time
to keep your inner house clean. Then day after day, listen to
your thoughts. Make your desire list your reality. Remember:
Life is filled with endless possibilities for joy, connection and
creativity. What on this list speaks to you most?

Move! Do something physical.

Connect with your body. Walk,
play a sport, dance around your living
room! Often we resist moving, but once
we get started we are glad we did.

Prioritize pleasure.

Connect with someone you love
every day - a mate or partner, a

child, a friend, a teacher. Keep your heart
open wide daily!

Jane Wyker, author of Soul Selfish, was a pioneer
in parent education, family counselor and
presenter to Fortune 500 companies. She raised
four children while pursuing her own spiritual
growth. Learn more about Jane here.

https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine/ https://www.twitter.com/grandMmagazine http://a.co/bDwKn2M http://a.co/bDwKn2M http://janewyker.com/

GRAND Magazine - July/August 2018

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - July/August 2018