Lamaze Magazine 2009

Elation Parenting Reality: Baby care is extremely hard work. I know what you’re thinking. How could a sweet little 7-pound infant be that tough to handle? The answer lies in the sheer amount of time that baby care takes. If you’re not convinced, do the math: In a 24-hour period, newborns need to eat eight to 12 times (with each feeding lasting 20 to 40 minutes), have their diapers changed a dozen or more times, and be bathed, cuddled and comforted. An experienced parent can tell you that anything done with a baby takes five times longer than you think it will. Add to that the increased household responsibilities (think baby laundry galore!) and you’ve got a lot to accomplish each and every day. Time is about to become a very precious commodity. You need to make tough decisions about what’s going to be done and who’s going to do it. Taking care of a baby is not a showy task – you can work yourself silly all day long and have nothing to show for it except a happy baby. A partner who understands and values that is worth his weight in gold. You and your partner will have to allocate chores in the fairest way possible. Resentment over the inequality of work distribution is one of the most common, and potentially destructive, issues that couples face. Take time now to talk about how you can fairly divide the increased work. The future of your relationship hinges on teamwork and being partners in every sense of the word. Reality: Sleep deprivation is a very big deal. Having a baby will change your appreciation of sleep. Never again, for the rest of your life, will you take it for granted. How can you make sure everyone in the family gets as much rest as possible? make your sleeping arrangements based on where and how all of you can get the best sleep. This is different for each person. You may want the baby in his own room. Remember that what works now may change with the baby’s age. (For more on sleeping with baby, see page 30.) Sleep whenever you can. Daytime sleep is just as important as nighttime sleep. If lAmAze mAGAzINe 2009 you’re not a day sleeper, you may have to fool your body into thinking it’s night by putting on your pajamas and drawing the shades. learn how to breastfeed lying down so that you can rest as you feed. See if both you and your baby can take a nap after a long, peaceful feeding. Dad can play an important role in feeding, even if you’re breastfeeding. How? He can bring the baby to you, change the diaper before you switch to the second breast and then get the baby back to sleep afterward. That way, you hardly have to wake up. Reality: Parents have needs, too. Attention all moms and moms-to-be: Read this section twice! New moms have a knack for taking care of everyone but themselves. It’s essential that you figure out how to meet your own needs as well as your baby’s. Time for yourself is not time stolen from your family; in fact, it’s necessary to replenish yourself so that you can continue to give. It isn’t self-indulgent to catch a nap, take a few minutes for a cup of tea, exercise or spend time with a friend. Remember, you’re a woman as well as a mom. This is not to say that there won’t be a major priority shift when your baby is born. Activities that seemed vital before birth may fall into the “who cares?” category afterward. Talk with your partner about each of your needs and how to make sure they are met. Reality: Recovering from childbirth takes longer than 6 weeks. A recovery period of 4 to 6 weeks is unrealistic for the majority of women. The truth is, your physical and emotional recovery should be thought of in terms of months rather than weeks. At 6 weeks postpartum, most women have not yet had one good night’s sleep and are just beginning to think about the world outside the walls of their home. Don’t push your recovery. Allow yourself the time you need to adjust physically and emotionally, and you’ll fare much better than if you try to do too much too soon. Parenting was never meant to be done alone. We all need people around us who can show us the ropes, lend a helping hand, and provide reassurance and encouragement. 28 lAmAze.oRG http://www.lamaze.org

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Lamaze Magazine 2009

Lamaze Magazine 2009 Contents Essential Lamaze for Pregnancy Making Connections Body Beautiful Birth Day, Your Way Mother Knows Best Essential Lamaze for Birth Supporting Cast Labor Day Position Statement Comfort Zone Intervention Intelligence The Waiting Game Essential Lamaze for Parenting Nursing School Reality Check Sleep Tight Unforgettable

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