Connections - November 2008 - (Page 25) about family issues. They enjoy small talk conversations and will engage in them longer,” said Craddock. She said men make excellent mentors during lunch because they are unfettered by emotions; but people in general, enjoy talking about what is important to them. It’s a fundamental technique from Dale Carnegie, author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Everyone wants to feel important so be genuinely interested in what the person has to say. The simplest part about lunch is often the most challenging: Be a good listener and encourage the person to talk about himself and, above all, do it with sincerity. “Don’t be obsequious,” said Craddock, and in the end, remember to ask the person, “What can I do for you? Many people often forget this part.” Yet this is crucial to sincerity. People do not want to be drained of time, resources, or energy and feel as though they received nothing in return. They may not want anything in return, but asking reveals true appreciation. Lastly, Craddock advises following up with the person via e-mail or a hand written thank you note. “It cannot be simply a generic thank you. That doesn’t leave an impression,” said Craddock. She advises, better still, to let the person know what you learned from the experience and how their advice was executed. “Let’s say you got a job at Morgan Stanley because of your conversation with them. Let the person know. Everyone appreciates it and it’s nice to know their time wasn’t fritted away,” said Craddock. ■ LOCAL PERSPECTIVE THE ART MAVEN BRENT HUGHES If you’ve ever seen an easy-to-read ad that grabs your attention on the Internet, you’ve seen Brent Hughes’ work at Nxtbook Media. He specializes in expanding the reach and effectiveness of the world’s leading publishers to deliver an exciting reading experience to people worldwide. Key to success: I never settle for the status quo. I always focus on what I’m doing and don’t worry about the money. After five years of searching for the perfect job, I found one where I can see myself retiring. How Hughes remains calm during high-pressure lunches: I simply behave as though I were dining with a relative or friend. Once I put myself in that mindset, I can behave naturally. November 2008 | Connections | 25 http://www.morganstanley.com http://www.biblio.com/authors/640/Dale_Carnegie_Biography.html http://www.biblio.com/authors/640/Dale_Carnegie_Biography.html http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&id=UhTCKXkWLs8C&dq=dale carnegie&printsec=frontcover&source=web&ots=1KHhFmqaES&sig=OBjurAGP8Ocv0xEgRJa-jlcWh7I&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=7&ct=result#PPR7,M1 http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&id=UhTCKXkWLs8C&dq=dale carnegie&printsec=frontcover&source=web&ots=1KHhFmqaES&sig=OBjurAGP8Ocv0xEgRJa-jlcWh7I&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=7&ct=result#PPR7,M1 http://www.paperfabulous.com/services
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