Vim & Vigor - Fall 2008 - North Denver - (Page 27)

surviving suicide loss For survivors whose loved ones have committed suicide, there is often guilt and a struggle to understand the reasons. CNN anchor Anderson Cooper can relate. “No matter how much you try to remember how that person lived his life, you can’t forget how he ended it,” he writes, expressing remorse over not reaching out to his brother Carter, who committed suicide in 1988. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention says suicide is almost always the result of mental illness, which can claim a life just like heart disease or cancer. AFSP offers these coping strategies: • Tell others what you feel most comfortable with. Many simply acknowledge their loved one died by suicide. • Though difficult, stay connected to other people. • Grieve at your own pace and in your own way. • Seek a support group at afsp.org. what to do Whether you “just have a hunch” or your loved one has explicitly threatened to commit suicide, take it seriously. Statistics show that 75 percent of all suicides were preceded by some warning to a friend or family member. The American Association of Suicidology offers these tips on what to do: • Be direct and talk openly about suicide. • Be willing to listen and accept expressions of feelings. • Be nonjudgmental, not debating whether suicide is right or wrong. • Be available, interested and supportive. • Don’t act shocked. • Offer hope, but not glib reassurances. • Don’t be sworn to secrecy. Clayton stresses that last point, suggesting that if a suicidal person “secretly” conﬁdes in you, respond by saying, “I can’t keep this to myself. It’s because I care about you that you need to come with me to the doctor or to the counselor.” She also advises against statements such as, “You have so much to live for,” or “You’ll hurt your family.” “When you’re suicidal, you’re preoccupied with your own fate and your own pain. The thing you want to do is relieve it. You’re not thinking about others,” Clayton says. The bottom line is: Be willing to talk and be willing to act. It may feel uncomfortable, but you should ask your loved one if he or she has considered suicide. If yes, ask if there is a plan. If there is, ask what the plan is. Then act decisively. Remove ﬁrearms, drugs and sharp objects from the vicinity. Go with your loved one to a mental health counselor, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255), call 911 or take your loved one to the nearest emergency room. “Once you ask if they are suicidal and they say yes, you can’t leave them alone. Help them get help. That’s the commitment you make,” Clayton says. vim & vigor · fall 2008 27 http://afsp.org

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Vim & Vigor - Fall 2008 - North Denver Contents A Mission in Motion For Your Health Goal! Seeing Beyond Time Equals Muscle The Fiber Solution Prize Fighters On the Cover: Spreading the News I'm Glad I Had a... Tailor-Made Beyond the Bedside On Track Living the Good Life Little Kids, Big Decisions Zeroing In Right At Home Beating the Clock Community Connections Ask the Experts

Vim & Vigor - Fall 2008 - North Denver

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