Recording - April 2014 - 63

7. We're growing our brand organically!
Organic food rots faster because it
lacks those evil preservatives. Remember
that. Do it right.

production costs, to 3 points + 10% of all
placement fees on top. Stay away from
this nonsense. I'll hook you up with a great
and affordable mixer. Just ask.

8. My music's available on iTunes!
Don't sell your music on iTunes, unless
you have a good cover or can get into the
"New Releases" section. What's the point
of creating a middleman? Why invest in a
publicist, radio promoter, etc. so that
iTunes can prosper? Just direct everyone
to your site and sell direct from there.

16. There's nothing wrong with my
image!
Yes, well. We can tell you're really 50
and not 25, Madame. Dude, about that
beard-ZZ Top was cool 20 years ago.
Even a poor musician can afford $3 for a
razor and shaving cream. I don't care if
it's part of your vibe, what would you say
if your mother saw you?
Tattoos are overdone and usually done
badly, and you can't take them off if you
decide you hate them. And unless you're
in the iTunes top 10, you shouldn't be
wearing leather pants.

9. Singles are the new Albums!
Why are you selling singles? If you can't
write a decent album, you have no purpose. Don't listen to this nonsense about
the album being dead. Make a good one,
and sell it as such. If you're going to put
marketing efforts and dollars into one
song, sell an album as a whole and make
$10 instead of 99 cents. Just don't stop
promoting it after two months. 10 songs =
10 months of promo possibilities. Duh!
10. I'm looking for a label and manager...
How nice. Have you sold 20,000 copies
on your own? Because if not, they aren't looking for you. If you're not willing to do the
work, no one of value or credibility will either.
11. On social networks, posting the
same posts promoting the same songs
over and over again will eventually
get people to buy the music.
No, people will start deleting you, and
you will look desperate and lame.
12. I can tell folks I've sold 2 million
albums even though the RIAA says I
haven't. Who'll know?
Don't think people won't check
riaa.com. I always do.
13. I'm too cool to pay bills on time...
or at all.
If you couldn't afford it, you shouldn't
have ordered it. Don't blame it on the
fake accountant.
14. What do you mean, that's not what
the contract says? That's not how I read
it!
Read and understand your agreements,
and blame yourself for not getting what
you thought you were getting. If you paid
for one month of promotion, don't ask to
Skype with the promoter every month for
4 months, after your month has expired.
15. My new producer had two
Grammies and a platinum album... in
1985!
Just because a producer has some
decent credits...from 20 years ago, doesn't mean they are worth your hard-earned
cash. I've seen some ridiculous deal points
in my day. Everything from $10K/song

17. Wait. Image? What's that? Do I
need one?
And please don't dress like a bank teller
and pose with a guitar looking vaguely dissatisfied. I'm mystified at how imageless
some artists can be. Did you not have

21. Yeah, I post more pictures than songs,
so what? It's all about image, right?
We get it, you're in love with yourself,
but if you spend more time posing for pictures than writing and releasing music,
people will notice just that.
22. Meh, who cares what I tweet, as
long as I do it a lot?
It's called "social" networking for a reason. Be social, entertaining, charming,
interesting and most of all, engaging.
23. I've got 100,000 followers on
Facebook and Twitter!
Yeah, but between 0 and 10 impressions per post. No sucker will believe you
really have that many people interested in
you with those numbers. Social networking is an art and a science, and it seems
that brands are finally starting to realize
its importance. A great example of how
social networking is supposed to work is
at facebook.com/DuranDuran. The aforementioned and wonderfully talented Ms.
Katy Krassner runs it.

The things you are about to read are real.
They have been taken from real examples of bad
promo campaigns and bad career decisions.
If you happen to recognize yourself in any of
these examples, I apologize, but... No I don't. If you
haven't fixed what you're reading about yet, here's
hoping you're now embarrassed enough to do so!
posters of your favorite musicians on your
walls when you were younger? Like, ever?
18. Faking people out is edgy, folks
like to be fooled.
Deception is not a marketing tool. If
you lie, it will always come back to bite
you. You don't have to disclose your debit
card PIN, just be realistic.
19. I'm too cool to have a budget!
Pretending you have money when you
don't is beyond idiotic. Have more confidence in yourself and write a good song.
20. I got straight to the secretary of this
big guy in Hollywood, piece of cake!
Good for you, bub. When's the premiere?

24. This is serious stuff, man! Don't you
dare laugh at me!
Martin Solveig is a really cool electronic artist from France, and he has a really
fun sense of humor and is willing to laugh
at himself. Have a look at some of his
videos on YouTube. It's about music and
entertainment, not about trying to show
off the fake jewelry or Bugatti you borrowed for the shoot.
25. Play every day? Why?
That's what you're supposed to do,
remember? And don't just play. Be a music
student, not a rockstar wannabe. Learn
everything you can, because ultimately it
will come down to how good the music is,
not how much of a poser you can be.

Eric Alexandrakis (alexandrakis@recordingmag.com) is a highly successful songwriter,
producer, and recording musician. He has had several Top 40 hits on the Adult
Contemporary charts, has licensed hundreds of songs for film and video, and recently
completed a remix of Depeche Mode's new single "Should Be Higher". Learn more at
www.ericalexandrakis.com. And he's recommending Katy Krassner because he likes
her work, and thinks you will too.
RECORDING April 2014

63
http://www.facebook.com/DuranDuran http://www.riaa.com http://www.ericalexandrakis.com
Recording - April 2014

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