Young Children - May 2008 - (Page 54) Guidance Matters Dan Gartrell with Julie Jochum Gartrell Understand Bullying Karen, a Head Start teacher, writes: I heard the words shut up and went into the bathroom to find out what was happening. Shayna was sitting in the corner crying. I said, “Shayna, why are you crying?” and she answered, “Amanda and Christina said they aren’t my friends anymore.” I asked Shayna if she had told them to shut up, and she said yes. I told her I was sorry that they made her feel sad and angry, but those words bother people in our classroom. (Amanda and Christina were watching and listening to us talk.) I explained to Shayna that maybe next time she could tell the girls it made her sad to hear they didn’t want to be her friends. I told Amanda and Christina that Shayna was feeling sad because of what happened. They went over to Shayna and gave her a hug and said they were sorry. Later, I saw the three playing together. (Gartrell 2007) This column explores the longtime hot topic of bullying. In a broad-based study for the Journal of the American Medical Association, Nansel and his colleagues (2001) discuss bullying from the viewpoints of young people who bully and the victims of bullying, both of whom tend to perceive themselves as being less than fully accepted members of a group. The authors state that bullying often has to do with inflicting aggression on another in order to establish a perceived place of prestige by lowering the social status of the other. Although the Nansel team’s study focuses on preteens and teens, the ® 1, 3 findings generally apply in early childhood as well. Moving from a place of established social status in the family to the social uncertainty of the early childhood classroom, most young children feel some level of stress. Couple this dynamic with the young child’s limited social perspective and ongoing brain development, and the result is the almost daily I’m-your-friend/I’mnot-your-friend phenomenon heard in the comments of Amanda and Christina. And who is likely to be the odd child out? The child who may be moody, sometimes unfriendly, not consistently outgoing—that would be Shayna. In early childhood classrooms, children are just beginning to learn patterns of social acceptance and rejection. Sprung, Froschl, and Hinitz emphasize that this is why a teacher’s response to early bullying needs to be proactive and preventive (2005). Although it may almost sound like Karen was beating up on the victim, the teacher knew Shayna well and was teaching her an alternative response to shut up that the other girls would find less objectionable. At the same time, by including all three children in the mediation, Karen was sensitizing Amanda and Christina to the fact that Shayna has a right to be fully accepted as a classmate. According to the sound approach recommended by Sprung, Froschl, and Hinitz, mediation is only the immediate follow-up in a broad-based effort. Through ongoing class meetings, the teacher establishes from day one that the classroom is an encouraging place for all. The teacher builds such an environment by modeling inclusive group spirit as well as teaching it. In the clarion call of Vivian Gussin Paley, “You can’t say you can’t play” (1992). Children have the right to choose their own friends, but in the encouraging classroom, they need to be friendly to all their “mates.” Because it is a hot-button issue, some programs advocate zero tolerance for bullying. However, quick fixes lead to automatic reactions that do not encourage teachers to think about the individual situations of the children involved. Let us continue with the anecdote involving Karen and Shayna: A little later, Shayna walked over to the breakfast table. She started crying again. I asked, “Is something making you feel sad, Shayna?” Dan Gartrell, EdD, is director of the Child Development Training Program and professor of early childhood and elementary education at Bemidji State University in northern Minnesota. Julie Jochum Gartrell, EdD, is director of Special Education Licensure and the MA in Differentiated Instruction Program and professor of education at Concordia University, St. Paul, Minnesota. Please send comments to dgartrell@ bemidjistate.edu. Thanks to the two former Head Start teachers of northern Minnesota who contributed these anecdotes, which first appeared in Dan’s books and have been adapted here. The names of teachers and children have been changed. With this article, Dan closes the Guidance Matters column to work on the 5th edition of his textbook. Illustration by Patrick Cavanagh. This column is available online in Beyond the Journal, May 2008, at www.journal.naeyc.org/btj. 54 Young Children • May 2008 http://www.journal.naeyc.org/btj
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