Young Children - May 2008 - (Page 55) She said, “I miss my Daddy.” Her father had been killed in a car accident a few months earlier. I sat down on a chair, hugging and holding her. I said, “Shayna, my daddy died when I was a little girl, and it made me very sad too. I am so glad you told me why you were crying.” We sat by each other and ate breakfast. Shayna went to the housekeeping area for choice time and joined Amanda and Christina. Later in the day, she came up to me and said, “I’m over my daddy now.” I said, “Shayna, it’s OK to feel sad about missing your daddy. I still miss my dad. If you need a hug or want to talk, you come and tell me.” I made other staff aware of the incident and that night talked with Shayna’s mom. The next day, Shayna sat on my lap at the playdough table, and we made cookies together. (Gartrell 2007) Kevin stood against the fence with his arms up over his head. I hurried over and arrived at the same time as Paul’s teacher. She pulled Paul away from Kevin, and we both knelt down to talk to them, each holding a child. Before either of us spoke, Kevin looked at Paul and said, “It made me very mad when you hit me.” He continued, “You’re supposed to use words, not hit.” Paul did not respond in any way during the discussion. I thanked Kevin for using his words and not hitting back. The other teacher stayed to talk with Paul. She later told me that she and her teaching team had scheduled a “staffing” concerning him that day and would meet with Paul’s family. (Gartrell 2007) We do well to remember that children’s life stories, although not usually as heartbreakingly sad as Shayna’s, lie behind every incident of bullying. Recognizing that certain children may be vulnerable to bullying—due to life experiences, behavior, and/or physical appearance—we befriend these children and guide them toward behaviors that will help them gain the acceptance of their peers. Every child has a story worth knowing, one that hopefully resonates with a caring teacher, as Shayna’s did with Karen. Bullying as physical aggression Nansel and his team make the case that bullying by girls usually involves taunting, exclusion, and gossip (2001). Bullying by boys can, and sometimes does, degenerate into physical aggression. While (sadly) physical aggression may be on the increase with older girls, the pattern found by Nansel and his team tends to hold true in early childhood. Liz, a Head Start teacher, writes: I walked onto the playground and immediately saw that a child from another room, Paul, was hitting Kevin. For many young children, bullying is a form of instrumental aggression—harming another physically or psychologically in order to obtain a goal. Teachers need to use their leadership skills to guide children to more socially responsible, alternative behaviors. For a few children, bullying is reactive aggression—a child experiences stress, does not know how to ask for help, and acts out against a perceived unjust world as a reaction to the stress. The child attacked may have done little or nothing to provoke the aggression. Teachers sometimes must work hard to figure out what made the child vulnerable. Not many children would have responded as Kevin did. Support for him in the days following the incident was important. At the same time, Paul had problems in his life that were bigger than he was. The circumstances required staffing, meeting with parents, and a comprehensive guidance strategy. Paul’s teacher showed she was committed to that process. bully only further the bully-victim syndrome in the class. Instead, the teacher helps the one child express feelings about being bullied and assists the other child to learn that bullying does not help with finding an identity within the group. With each intervention the teacher responds to the question, What can I teach these children right now so they can learn to get along? This teaching process is interactive, with the teacher learning about the children even while teaching mutual acceptance and negotiation skills. Liberating teachers work for a unified, programwide approach to bullying. When teachers and administrators work together to build encouraging classrooms, develop positive relations with parents, use guidance to handle conflicts, and take a planned approach to bullying that includes both prevention and intervention, bullying behaviors markedly decline (Hoover & Oliver 1996; Beane 2005). Working with fellow staff and administrators, liberating teachers can accomplish what they cannot do on their own. To increase your knowledge Professional resources Beane. A.L. 2005. The Bully Free Classroom: Over 100 Tips and Strategies for Teachers K–8. Minneapolis: Free Spirit Press. Positive and practical, reinforced with true stories and enhanced by reproducible forms, checklists, and resources, this solution-filled book can make yours a classroom where all students can learn without fear. Other Bully Free resources include mini-guides for educators; a workbook; Bully Free Bulletin Boards, Posters, and Banners; and The Bully Free Classroom CD-ROM. Jackson, C. 2007. The ABCs of bullying. Teaching Tolerance, Classroom Activities (January). Bullying often begins with verbal abuse. In this article, Teaching Tolerance offers resources to help educators, families, and students address bullying in the classroom and beyond. www.tolerance.org/teach/activities/ activity.jsp?ar=771 Liberation teaching Liberation teaching is a term I use in my writings, part of the meaning of which is to not give up on any child (Gartrell 2007). Liberation teaching means the teacher realizes that comforting the victim and punishing the Young Children • May 2008 55 http://www.tolerance.org/teach/activities/activity.jsp?ar=771
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