MPI Perspective - February 2008 - (Page 17)

Love Alliances, Hate Negotiations How to win agreement and influence decisions without losing friendships! By Drew Stevens, Ph.D. Everything in life is a compromise; everything in life is a negotiation. They mean the same, but we all seem stifled by the word negotiate, and the implications that surround it. Yet what most of us do not realize is that we have been negotiating since we were born. From the time we wanted a bottle or refused napping, our education in negotiation began. And it continues … in fact, research for this article illustrates that 43 percent of the American workforce has changed jobs since 2006, and the divorce rate in this country hovers at about 53 percent - two common situations where heavy negotiation skills are necessary. However, we become increasingly befuddled by negotiation. We hold strong beliefs that negotiation is meant to be a battle. We begin negotiations on the defensive and seek to end them in a similar manner. The most vital idea to comprehend about negotiation is its definition. Negotiation is nothing more than an exchange of ideas and values between two or more parties with different interests. Conceptually, negotiation is a communication and critical thinking exercise inducing creative problem solv i ng. This article seeks to address ways in which you can negotiate and still move away with your credibility and friendships in tact. The best concept for understanding negotiation is to indicate what it isn’t. We fi rst need to debunk the myths. Myth: Negotiation is about winning and losing. The myth of win-lose is ancient. Validation of winning is not bequeathing more concessions than the other party. One simply needs to be concerned with the amount of take. This denotes loss. Myth: Negotiation is about power. All people in a negotiation have power. If two sides are negotiating, each has an equal amount of power – one desires something from the other. Yet negotiation is not so much about power, it is about honesty or lack thereof. Power stems from the side that enables it. Donald Trump by nature believes he has power due to wealth and notoriety, yet if he desires something from someone else the power shifts. The larger concern is not relinquishing power to the opposing side. Myth: Negotiation is about chicanery. MPINCCperspective | VOL. 26, NO. 4 | 17

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of MPI Perspective - February 2008

MPI Perspectives - February 2008
President's Message
Bulding Relationships for Work
Principles of a Professional
Love Alliances, Hate Negotiations
The Lost Office Relationships
My MPI - Paula Higgins
Member Pearls
Green Meetings
Chapter Chatter
Join the Ranks - Become a CMP
Destination Spotlight - Ontario, California
Index to Advertisers

MPI Perspective - February 2008