The Connector - Winter 2009 - (Page 7) RWAU Winter 2009 Winter 2009 nte 009 President’s Message Doug W. Evans, RWAU President I Wish Our Systems Worked Like a Movie am always amazed that Hollywood seems to have its core foundation deeply rooted in the tenuous mists of some mystical fractured reality. Don’t get me wrong, I am as excited as anyone by the fast paced, continuous action of films such as the Bourne series. Jason Bourne seems to never tire, he runs continually and is injured or shot (and we worry about miniscule concentrations of lead in our water) time after time, but he always arises steadfast to confront any situation. What bothers me is that he can, by chance, end up with a small bag of tools or toys that can get him out of any difficult situation. He has devices that connect to any cell phone, open any lock, track any vehicle, etc. You get the point. I can’t even find two cell phones nowadays that use the same charger, let alone are compatible at transferring contacts, and the like. I interfaces his laptop to some universal port that is sitting out in the open on the alien spaceship. They must be using a Windows system with a USB or “Universal Serial Bus” port—get it? Now give me a break. I can’t even find a cable or extra port of any type that will hook any two devices together, let alone immediately in the world of reality. And while I’m at it, why does everything that is going to explode have a flashing and beeping red light on it? Or even worse, red LED digits counting down the time to death (which incidentally never happens). A real terrorist would never be so polite as to let you know exactly how much time you have to diffuse a bomb or get out of its way. Sigourney Weaver’s famous alien had plenty of notice to escape the spaceship when the self-destruct computer counted down the time to the inevitable. Even tracking devices have a Wouldn’t it be nice if our water or wastewater systems worked like the stuff in movies? Our jobs would be so easy. And James Bond always has some magical futuristic toy developed for some forthcoming situation that only the prophetic insights of “Q” would ever ascertain and—again—it is always ready to save him from the greatest perils. Daniel Ocean can come up with any incredible gadget (such as a multimillion dollar tunnel-boring machine or the so-called “pinch”) to allow them to make off with hundreds of millions. He didn’t even need a permit to bore underneath Las Vegas! And let’s not forget my favorite— in the movie Independence Day, a computer geek is able to write a computer virus (in no time at all) that can cripple an entire alien civilization (which has the mind-boggling technology to eliminate entire civilizations and withstand any nuclear detonation). And he can do it all with a computer cable that conveniently bright flashing light on them—kind of defeats the point of the secrecy of a tracking device, doesn’t it? And why does steam spray out of everything mechanical, and why do computers screens still beep or make that old dot matrix printer sound when you type letters on them in the movies? I guess what I am saying is, I am just sick and tired of everything working in movies. It gives me and my kids a false sense of security: one in which you can go into any profession and everything will function as the instructions or advertisements claim. No normal human being can run 90 percent of the things on their own personal computers anyway, let alone even know where to find those features. Wouldn’t it be nice if our water or wastewater systems worked like the stuff 7 in movies? Our jobs would be so easy. A master computer would monitor (and also fix) anything that ever goes wrong. Intrusions would be detected, recorded and the perpetrators dealt with accordingly. A computer voice would awaken us to a low water tank level or the future failure of a pump. Our operators would have a small bag of every kind of cool tool ever needed to deal with any unforeseen event. The internet would be fast, and it would work flawlessly in any place. There would be plenty of useless but cool blinking lights and strobes, adorning our offices and equipment. I would have a universal communications interface and cable. And we would all be physically and mentally bullet proof (and for the record, when you’re wearing a bullet proof vest, you will never be shot in the head). In reality, we have the common problems that government, entropy or mortality has bestowed upon us. Everything we build will need an approval or lengthy permit process. The way we deal with problems will be from learning and experience, and we will have the Rural Water Association one call away, which in a way is similar to that magic tool bag. They are staffed with ready and helpful personnel to help us along this authentic obstacle course with any problems we may encounter. They can’t solve any predicament instantly, but they will be fast! They won’t quite have the foresight, prudence and innovation of a “Q,” but they will be committed and work with endless resolve and doggedness. And I suppose in the end, that they can shut off those incessant nagging streams of smoke or bursts of steam! The Connector Connecto Connector onn tor
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