Association Executive - November/December 2007 - (Page 11)

What Does That Mean? By David Gabri Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues W e’ve all heard the expression that “it isn’t what you say, but how you say it.” But did you know that up to 93 percent of communication is non-verbal? Non-verbal communications includes such things as tone of voice, posture, eye contact, hand gestures, facial expressions, and eye movement. Recognizing these cues by your members, donors, customers, co-workers, boss, and subordinates, can be very helpful in identifying whether someone is in agreement with what you say, or whether you’re facing resistance. Knowing these cues also can be helpful for you to monitor the signals that you’re sending out to others. David B. Givens, PhD, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies, published an impressive book called The Nonverbal Dictionary. This guide defines gestures, signs and body language cues as identified by anthropologists, archeologists, biologists, linguists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and others who have studied human communication. While there are certainly too many entries in the book to cite all of them, here are some of the findings as they pertain to the American culture: Facial Expressions: While many facial expressions convey obvious emotions, others can be subtler. These include: the “lippurse,” which conveys disagreement; “flashbulb eyes,” which reflects surprise or excitement; “narrowed eyelids” show threat or disagreement; “gaze down,” which tends to show submission, deception, guilt, or a defeated attitude; and eye movements to the right or left, which signal information processing, reflection and thought. Body Alignment: Studies by Albert Mehrabian show that “our upper body unwittingly squares-up, addresses and aims at those we like, admire and agree with, but angles away from disliked persons and people with whom we disagree.” This is even evident in a meeting, where it is often possible to identify the most powerful person seated at a conference table by the greater number of torsos aimed in their direction. Additional studies by Mehrabian show that leaning forward suggests friendliness or attentiveness, leaning backward expresses more of a negative pose, and “gross changes in body position, such as shifting in the chair, may show negative feelings toward the person one is talking to.” On this topic, Ken Delmar advises, “do not turn your upper body away from the prospect (or customer). It doesn’t make you look casual; it makes you look afraid, uninterested, or even unfriendly.” Hands Behind Head: Many studies have shown that in the United States, leaning back and placing both hands behind the neck in the “head clamp” posture is often a sign of dominance or frustration. “This display reveals that someone feels no need to show eagerness or attention,” according to Desmond Morris. Adam’s-Apple-Jump: An up-and-down motion of the Adam’s Apple (i.e. the throat visibly moving while gulping or swallowing) “is an unconscious sign of emotional anxiety, embarrassment, or stress. At a business meeting a listener’s Adam’s Apple may inadvertently jump should he or she dislike or strongly disagree with a speaker’s suggestion, perspective or point of view,” according to Givens. Have you noticed a few of these non-verbal cues with your conversations? Paying attention to the cues that you receive from others may prove insightful in identifying when your message is being favorably received, or whether you need to change your strategy in order to achieve a more favorable result. But be cognizant that these cues may not necessarily be true in other cultures in our global society. Learning the cues of the global cultures with which you work could prove to be as important as knowing the language David Gabri is president and CEO of Associated Luxury Hotels International. He can be reached at 202-887-7020; dgabri@alhi.com: or through Associated’s website at www.alhi.com. BODY LANGUAGE EXAMPLES Standing with hands on hips (palms down) Readiness or aggression Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly Boredom Arms crossed on chest Defensiveness Hand to cheek Evaluation, thinking Touching or rubbing nose Rejection, doubt, lying Rubbing hands Anticipation Steepling fingers Authoritative Tilted head Interest Stroking chin Trying to make a decision Open palm Sincerity, openness Pulling or tugging at ear Indecision Tapping or drumming fingers Impatience * Sources: www.positive-way.com and www.deltabravo.net. NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2007 AS SOC I A TI ON E X E C U TI V E 11 http://www.alhi.com http://www.positive-way.com http://www.deltabravo.net

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Association Executive - November/December 2007

Assocation Executive - November/December 2007 Contents From the CEO The First 5 Slides: Unlocking the Story Buried in Your Presentation What Does That Mean? Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues Avoiding Telephone Turmoil Turning Your Blind Spot into an Asset Inside NYSAE Book Beat Save the Dates Member News Meeting in Calgary Meeting in Delaware Meeting in Chicago Meeting in Pennsylvania Index of Advertisers

Association Executive - November/December 2007

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