California School Counselor - Winter 2008 - (Page 11)

3 R N Alex, I often work with children such as you who are very angry with their parents for one reason or another. You and I have talked about how you want things to be today, and described to me what you are going to do the next time anger gets in your way. I’d like you to tell me in your own words what I might tell the next child I see who is dealing with anger, based on what you now know. edescribe behaviors that sound “pathological” into behaviors that seem “solvable” and “normal”: So you get upset sometimes when people tell you what to do. Gee, it sounds like you’ve got your own ideas, and people aren’t listening to you right now. That seems to happen to many students. How would you like your teachers to see you, as an angry student who closes his/her mind, or as a creative student who has questions and suggestions about assignments? 4 P 5 6 A ormalize behaviors for the student, teacher, or parent. Ann, I am really impressed that you have stayed in the Geometry class this year. Many students wouldn’t have forced themselves to get tutoring, or persevere like you have. Even though your grade is low, you keep on going. How do you manage such drive to ﬁnish this class? retend that the student’s life is considered to be “Act 1” in the play of life. Now, construct “Act 2” with the student. Change the characters, the interactions, and behaviors into a new scene in which the student does things diﬀerently. Ask the student how his peers, teachers, or parents would like to see him in “Act 2.” John, until now, things have been tough as your parents divorced. Now that you have moved here and you say your mom is happier, let’s consider all this “Act 1” in your life of 16 years. Now let’s talk about how you want “Act 2” to go. If we used your friends, mom, and other close relatives in your life as the audience, how do you think you and they might write “Act 2”? ssume change will occur or has already occurred. Use presuppositional words such as “when” and “someday soon” to enhance the possibility of future thinking. Lauren, someday soon when the sadness about your grandfather’s death is not bothering you as often as now, what will you be doing more of? Jonathan, when you bring your grades back up to passing in the next few weeks or so, what will be diﬀerent here at school and at home? Mr. Smith, when Lee begins to comply with your rules at home, using the ideas we have discussed here today, what do you see as happening more often at home, or in your relationship with her? exceptions and focusing on their usefulness in the present, students often begin to see themselves as competent. The following questions are useful in a variety of situations and each question focuses on identifying the exceptions. Tim, I’ve noticed that you haven’t let “energy” take over this morning, and keep you out of your seat in class. How have you done that? Todd, I can’t believe your performance on the court today. How did you pull it all together out there? Sally, your teacher sent you to talk to me because she was worried about your being so quiet in class. How have you managed to talk to me so freely for the past 20 minutes? Mark, your vice principal sent you here and said you were very unruly and angry in the lunch line about 20 minutes ago. I’m wondering how you calmed yourself so quickly? Does this happen often, that you calm yourself so well? How long does it take and how do you do that for yourself? Jeremy, your mom said you forget papers in your eighth grade math class very often. Today, I sent for you early in the morning and it’s 2:30 now. You brought me the pass I sent you at 8:30 this morning. How did you keep from losing it? Ann, your grandmother died so suddenly last week. I am amazed at the peace in your eyes as your talk of your special times with her. How have you managed to deal with her death so peacefully? Make Conversations Exceptional Many of the ideas presented focused on “exceptions,” times when problems occur slightly less. By identifying 401413_CaliforniaCollegeofArts.indd 1 The California School Counselor | winter 2008 7:23:39 PM 11 9/23/08 http://www.cca.edu

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of California School Counselor - Winter 2008

California School Counselor - Winter 2008 Contents Presidential Perspectives Jackie’s Jottings Executive Director’s Report Creating Possibilities Through Language The Six C’s Orange County Counselors Form Book Review Legislative Update Research CASC’s 2008 Leadership ASCA Announces Hughes Middle School Memory Tips for School, Work and Life California Commission on Teacher Credentialing Releases Statistics on Pupil Personnel Services Credentials Technology Tips Pics, Clicks and Technics Calendar Index to Advertisers

California School Counselor - Winter 2008

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