Digital Video - June 2008 - (Page 50)

PRODUCTION DIARY BY STEFAN SARGENT MY BRILLIANT CAREER OR NO ONE LIKES A SMART ASS room, packed with agency account executives, copywriters, and production assistants, “We will make a second commercial for you, no charge. Won’t we, Hans?” “It vill be awful … I caanh’t do it.” “I wasn’t suggesting that you do it Hans. We’ve got just the man for the job. Stefan, you have free rein. See what you can do with Hans’ leftovers.” Gulp. I’m cooked. Make something even half decent and Hans will hate me. Screw up and I’ll look foolish. It’s lose/lose. CONUNDRUM I go through the rolls and rolls of outtakes. Hey, they’re funny. A wonderful collection of babies being babies. And there’s a hand in shot, picking up babies who crawl away from the camera, wiping their dribble, dragging them into position. It’s hilarious. I lift the funniest shots and write a voiceover commentary. My JWT colleague, Jim Edmond, takes my script and a tape recorder home. He gets Matthew, age 21⁄2, to mimic single words. “Say dribble.” “Dripple.” “No, Matthew, say dribble.” “Dribble.” “Good boy, you got it. Now say oops.” I join up Matthew’s words to make sentences: “Oops, I’m starting to dribble.” A hand enters frame and wipes away the dribble. “Don’t push me down.” “I’m going to catch a lion. That’s not a lion.” “I’m all by myself with my rattle.” The Australian Women’s Weekly runs a story about my television commercial. (Inset) Erich von Stroheim is a role model for JWT’s senior television producer. Love the monocle. BY STEFAN SARGENT S YDNEY 1963 I’m working at J. Walter Thompson as an assistant in their TV department. Their onstaff television director is Hans von Adlerstein. Hans speaks, dresses and acts as if he were the famed German actordirector Erich von Stroheim. Only the monocle is missing. We’re in the preview theater at JWT. Hans has just produced a commercial for Bonds’ nappies (“diapers” to you). Smiling, laughing babies are crawling everywhere. The Bonds client is happy. HANS MAKES A SPEECH “Thezz commercial was tough. I can direct children and get beeautifool performances but zezz liddle kids you can’t direct them. Zee only way is to shoot a lot of film!” “How much film did you shoot, Hans?” asks Mr. Bonds. “I can tell you precisely. George has zee camera sheets.” Poor George Stephenson is Hans’ long suffering sidekick. “Shank you, George. Vee zhot 20 rolls of 35mm film. 20 times 400 — that’s 8,000 feeet.” “And how much did you use in the commercial, Hans?” “Vee spent three days editing. Searching for thoze precious moments.” “How much film, Hans?” “35mm film runs at 90 feet a minute. Zo, zat’s 90 feet.” “What about the other 7,910 feet?” “It vas rubbish.” “If we threw away our material like that we’d be out of business. Look at this.” He’s drawing a series of cut out clothes all over the commercial’s storyboard. “We cut out here for one section. Here for another. And even this little bit in between is used. Only four percent is waste, and we recycle that. Hans, I’m shocked.” MR. BONDS RETURNS – HANS IS ON LOCATION Paul shows my edit. Mr. Bonds falls off his chair laughing. “It’s wonderful. That’ll teach Hans bloody von Adlerstein!” For a while, my commercial and Hans’ are run on air. Mine creates a huge buzz. Hans’ commercial is taken off the air. Both Hans von A. and his doppelganger, Erich von S., hate me — so does the copywriter. Paul Jacklin gives me witness protection but the atmosphere is grim. Poor Jim Edmond is moved to a smaller office with no window. I resign, kickstarting my brilliant career. DV THE MAN YOU LOVE TO HATE No longer Hans, he is Erich von Stroheim and he’s up on his feet; obsessed, maniacal, shouting: “A feeelm is not an underpant!” George quietly leaves the room and returns with Paul Jacklin, Head of Television. Paul sums up the situation and quickly sides with the man from Bonds. He had no choice. “It’s very simple.” Paul says to the 50 dv april 2008 www.dv.com http://www.dv.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Digital Video - June 2008

Digital Video - June 2008 Contents DV Update My Studio Runners World Brevis Flip 35MM Lens Adapter 4160 Soom Tripod System Century Essential-5 Filter Kit Little Big Disk Quadra Instant Expert DXA-2S Adapter Technology Treasures Making What You See Sound Great Click to Play DV 101 Production Diary

Digital Video - June 2008

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