NMP - February 2018 - 70

a special focus on THE PURSUIT OF PAPERLESS a special focus on THE PURSUIT OF PA

Where's My Flying Car?

I

t is the year 2058 and
against all my advice, my
son became a Mortgage
Broker.

All W-2s, paystubs, bank
statements and automated real
estate valuation systems were
long since been placed on the
inter-global Web, or the "Big
Yahoo" as it has been come to
be known. DU automatically
"touches" these systems, and
when given permission by your
virtual spouse, "SIRI" records
your mortgage and sets up
automatic payments from your
"cloud wallet." Human
interaction in the mortgage
industry is as quaint as the
checkout girl at the grocery
store before the RF system just
let you walk out of the store
with the items and charged
your Amazon account.

FEBRUARY 2018 n National Mortgage Professional Magazine n

NationalMortgageProfessional.com

70

By Eric Weinstein

In the future, the Mortgage
Broker is automated out of
existence. In 2018, we had an
inkling when the "Work
Number," IRS, Zillow, DU and
the myriad of other systems
worked independently. Now,
with artificial intelligence,
imagine them all working
together in one seamless
system. What a waste it was
getting his Lunar, Martian and
Inner Asteroid Mortgage
Broker's License!
Robots the size of a toaster
now can do everything faster,
cheaper and better. PLUS, they
make toast!
But it is not just the
mortgage industry that
witnessed an extinction level
event when the computers
took over. Realtors were easily
replaced with 3-D virtual tours,
title companies were
automated out of the search

and recording business and
surveyors, don't make me
laugh. They were GPS'ed off
the planet long ago after a
simple Google Maps upgrade.
Even the friendly Home
Inspector was eventually
replaced with the Honeywell
home self-diagnostic unit each
home now has. The ONLY
business still thriving is the
Pest Inspector, now with that
invasive Martian wood eating
microbe ravishing the planet,
lately.
In the old days, at least, you
got to speak to your Mortgage
Broker on a video chat for 15
minutes, exchanging
pleasantries, knowing he was
only dressed from the waist
up since that was as far as the
camera reached. Now, your
virtual spouse does all that
with other computers. It is a
good thing they legalized
human/computer marriage
back in the'30's. You'd be lost
without her/him/it, but, don't
get me started on the old
pronoun debate, again!
It has been many decades
since I retired and uploaded
my consciousness into a sweet
new PS3600 Pentium chip, but

my son is still a "Meatbag,"
and I feel sorry for him. His job
is now to go around oiling all
the robots that do the
mortgages for him. Not that
they need it, I think they just
want to make the remaining
humans feel useful.
Sure, I have everything I
want in my virtual reality with
my array orbiting the Sun in a
geosynchronous orbit feeding
the solar panels of my
mainframe for eternity, but it is
only natural for a father to
want his son to be happy.
In 2018, when I was a
Mortgage Broker, I had the
great pleasure of helping
people buy homes and
refinance. It was a good
existence and served me and
my family well. But even then,
I could see where decades
later, it was a job destine for
oblivion in the not too distant
future. That's why they never
featured mortgage brokers on
"Star Trek," I guess. Enjoy it
while you can, but don't try to
foist your kids into the
industry. Forty years goes by
like the snap of a finger,
assuming you still have
fingers.
Tell your children NOT to
become Mortgage Brokers, if
you love them.
Oh, and don't wait for them
to invent flying cars. It never
happens.

Eric Weinstein worked in banking, on the commercial real
estate side until 1991, when he fell in love with residential
lending. In 1995, he started a small mortgage company in
his basement called Carteret Mortgage Corporation,
which in 2003, grew to one of the largest mortgage
broker companies in the United States. Eric is semiretired, doing mortgages by referral only. He may be
reached by phone at (703) 505-8692 or e-mail
EWeinstein4U@gmail.com.


http://www.NationalMortgageProfessional.com

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