STORES Magazine - February 2008 - (Page 74) POSTSCRIPT thelastlaugh Home Sweet IKEA THERE ARE a lot of folks who own so much furniture and so many accessories from IKEA that they feel as if a room in their apartment looks like the store showroom. Comedian Mark Malkoff apparently prefers a more literal approach. When Malkoff learned that his New York City apartment was to be fumigated for cockroaches, he weighed a handful of alternatives – such as staying with friends or checking into a hotel. Instead he decided to move into the IKEA store in Paramus, N.J.. He unloaded two suitcases into a spacious 700-sq.-ft. display apartment on January 7 and stayed there until midnight January 12. Malkoff contacted the store with his proposal in December. Deputy store manager Julie Mott says the company thought it would be “fun and interesting.” (The fact that Malkoff was followed by a camera crew documenting the event probably held a bit of sway for the IKEA execs, too; IKEA is among the elite of retailers that truly understand and embrace the power of video.) Malkoff, who works for Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,” was hoping to play laser tag with the security guards at night when the store was closed. Still, there were some hiccups to the retailer’s otherwise generous hospitality. Turns out the display apartment doesn’t have running water, a refrigerator or a real television — hence the word “display.” ing for Rhonda and they weren’t aware that it was a bird and not a person. And so they took flight rather quickly.” The macaw is a variety of parrot that is considered highly intelligent. It is also known for its ability to reproduce human speech. Oltman said police figured out what happened when they arrived and heard the bird screaming in the back room. The burglars escaped with $15 in change. Starry Starry Night Paint your mattress digital Add an iPod dock and dual temperature controls With eyes that know the darkness of a snore Lift the bed seven degrees . . . Enough of that … well, not so fast. Leggett & Platt recently introduced a tricked out bed called the Starry Night Sleep Technology Bed. The bed, on display at the International Consumer Electronics Show, incorporates wireless Internet connectivity, an iPod dock, a surround sound speaker system, an LCD projector, dual temperature controls and DVR capability. It also comes with a vibration detection feature that helps to eliminate snoring by elevating the bed by seven degrees – but the price just might keep you up at night. The Starry Night Bed, scheduled to be available in the first half of 2009, will range from $20,000 to $50,000, depending on the features a buyer chooses. ©The New Yorker Collection 2007 Michael Maslin from cartoonbank.com. All rights reserved. Bird Thwarts Burglary A THIEF in Massachusetts was attempting to burglarize a pet store when he was scared off by a big, bad … bird. Yes, it’s true. While birds generally don’t rank high on the list of animals known for scaring off ne’er-do-wells, Merlin, a seven-year-old blue-and-gold macaw, proved feathered friends can fight crime. According to a Reuters report, intruders smashed the front window of Pet Palace in Leominster. As they entered the store the bird began to shout. “When he hears someone come into the building, or the puppies get riled up or whatever, he’ll start calling for Rhonda, who is the woman who used to own him,” says store manager Lori Oltman. “He was scream74 STORES / FEBRUARY 2008 WWW.STORES.ORG http://cartoonbank.com http://WWW.STORES.ORG
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