Greenville Magazine - July 2008 - (Page 19)

couple sits at a table for two, framed by Ristorante Bergamo’s side window. The last streaks of light from the setting sun illuminate their joined hands, clasped over the remnants of their dinner. They lean their heads in close, as if to block out the ambient noise that rises around their intimate conversation. If you happened to glance over at the right time, you might even see them share a kiss, a final brushstroke on this charming vignette of romantic love. But this couple – Julie and Bill Pitney - aren’t on their first date or even their twentieth. They have been married for 15 years and have weathered the ups and downs of a long relationship, along with several changes of residence and the introduction of three daughters. So why do they look like they are on a date? Because they are. And they are not alone in their pursuit of special time away from distractions to focus on one another. Though often thought of purely as the domain of singles, date nights are just as essential for couples in A Sue fondly recalls their own precious times when she and Sam were able to escape for a weekend and go down to Atlanta without their four children in tow. “We’d dress to the nines and go to dinner and dancing. The Ritz Carlton in Buckhead had a dance floor, a combo and really good dinner.” Sue also points out that their dates did not have to be fancy affairs. In fact, she explains that they had a standing breakfast date when their children were teenagers and slept in on Saturday mornings. “I think it is so important for the husband and wife to keep their marriage as the primary relationship, especially when kids are around.” She believes it gives children a sense of security when they see that their mom and dad actually want to spend time together. Take Baby Steps Spending time together doesn’t have to mean a weekend away at first. Allen Teal, a 53-year-old pastor, suggests that couples who get bogged down in workaday worries need to begin by learning how to enjoy each up and out of the house, Cristina Schleifer is quick to remind couples to continue to make time for conversation. Cristina, marketing and communications director for The Capital Corporation says, “After being in the hectic, ‘always on’ professional world,” she and her partner of 11 years, Michelle Brinn, make dinner a special event at home. “We usually cook together, talking about the day. We always use cloth napkins, silver and real plates.” Phyllis Martin, executive director of the yWca and married to Tim Martin for 13 years, points out that good conversation need not be restricted to the dinner table. She and Tim enjoy projects that can be done together – from painting a room to working in the garden. “Really, anything that closes off the rest of the world and allows us to talk and be together,” she says. If you and your partner find that talking turns to shouting during home improvement projects, and a dinner date doesn’t thrill you, try simply taking a walk. Conversation tends to flow more easily if you are “Marriage isn’t something that can be left unattended.” long-term relationships as the demands of careers and kids threaten to overshadow the romance. Bill smiles broadly as he puts a protective arm around Julie’s shoulder. “I’m out with my best friend,” he says, while Julie notes that their girls are at home with the eldest, Katie, holding down the fort. They admit that outings like this are not easy to come by, and that makes them all the more precious. “[Date night] was absolutely the secret to our success,” says Sue Inman, who will celebrate 50 years of wedded bliss to Sam Inman this summer. Certainly no stranger to the vicissitudes of love over the long haul, other’s company again. Teal recommends reconnecting by talking about things not related to jobs and children. “The first time or two may seem odd. But you will get to where you look forward to it.” With active children aged ten and four, Ron Friis, associate professor of Spanish and husband of novelist Ashley Warlick for 14 years, eagerly anticipates their favorite indulgence: dinner at 33 Liberty. He says that in addition to “supporting deserving babysitters of the Upstate,” their primary objective is to be able to finish sentences, which is a challenge when dining with children. But even when the kids are grown not staring each other down. Find an unfamiliar neighborhood, stroll Main Street and through Falls Park, or drive out to Furman University and walk around the lake. Judy Romano, associate director of research and grants administration at Furman and married to Dana Jones for 23 years says, “We walk together, without our children (aged 14 and 16), almost every day for 30 minutes to an hour.” She is a firm believer that continuing to remind themselves, “that our relationship is larger and older than our family life with our children and that it is possible to talk about something other than our kids’ schedules.” JULY 2008 | GreenviLLe MaGazine 19

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Greenville Magazine - July 2008

Greenville Magazine - July 2008 Contents Editor's Letter My Greenville Alone At Last Watercooler Romance Greenwood Tourist in Your Own Town One-Tank Trips In The Lead Keeping Students In-State After Hours From the Pros A Look Back Walk this Way If These Walls Could Talk Viewpoints Attorneys The Bulletin Around Town Parting Words

Greenville Magazine - July 2008

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