Diversity MBA Magazine - Fall 2008 - (Page 92)

LIFESTYLES Recently, I began to think about relationships and why they work or don’t work. Before I get to my theory as to why they do, let me say this: Being single isn’t easy. Some are of the opinion that being single is great, but from my vantage point, it seems to be tricky and adversarial at best. You see, I was married to my ex-wife for 15 years and dated her for three. So I was involved with one person for 18 years -- most of my adult life. Now that I’m single, I thought this is a brave new world with unlimited possibilities. Wrong, wrong, wrong! I have been raising two kids for the past three years, and they’re both teenagers now. Can someone scream with me? My kids believe my world revolves around them. If you’re single with kids and interested in being involved with someone, I address what I call Obstacle #1: Your kids are not your world. If you put them first in all aspects of your life, you’re going to be one lonely individual. Here are some more obstacles to overcome and accomplish: Obstacle #2: You have to move on from past hurts or failures in previous relationships. If you don’t, you will hinder or even cripple any future possibilities. Obstacle #3: You need a good hobby that puts you in contact with other people. Being a recluse will not help you find Mr. or Ms. Right. Obstacle #4: Determine that you deserve to be happy and fulfilled. If that means being with someone, then just do it. Obstacle #5: Develop a network of family and friends and be engaging, energetic, and fun loving. The larger your network, the greater your chances of finding the right person to fall in love with. These are just a few of thoughts about getting out of the rut of feeling sorry for yourself because you’re single. Being single can be great, but it can be hard work, too. Now let’s talk briefly as to why relationships work or fail. Since I’ve been single, I have met three types of women. The first has a philosophy of, “I don’t need anyone.” So, by lying to themselves for whatever reason, they make any future relationship difficult to start. The second has a philosophy of, “I need to get married NOW.” They usually manage to quickly scare off the person, his family, his friends, and his dog or cat. The third’s philosophy is, “It’s my way or the highway.” This usually makes me about to hit the highway. As we say in New Orleans, “Ya heard me?” One more thought to keep in mind: If you think being single is hard, try being married. Now, I don’t fancy myself as an expert, but I will say this -- experience has taught me to be open-minded, selfless, selfish, adventurous, sensitive to timing, compassionate and ever-learning, reinventing myself and growing as a person. So how do you have a good fulfilling relationship? Read the last sentence one more time.|dMBA| 92 & CULTURE Being Single Isn’t Easy by Devin Oten w w w. d ive r s it y mb a ma g a z in e. c o m http://www.diversitymbamagazine.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Diversity MBA Magazine - Fall 2008

Diversity MBA Magazine - Fall 2008 Contents Letters to the Editor In Your Own Hands Editor's View Business Briefs Off the Shelf Diversity MBA 2008 Awards Gala and Leadership Forum "Diversity Next Practices" Illusion of Inclusion Good Is Not Enough Revisiting Your Personal Brand Discover Your Power Voice Authentic Leadership In An Ever-Changing Marketplace Stopping the Brain Drain: How Companies Can Keep Talented People of Color Corporate Succession Planning - How Do You Fit In? How To Manage Virtual Teams Beyond Demographics Recruit, Recognize, Retain, Reinvest – Winning the Talent Acquisition Game Leave Ego at the Door Modernizing Supplier Diversity Taking the Leadership High Road… When You Can Find It Think Boardroom Bound; It’s Happening Who's Who In Diversity Fail to Succeed 4-Star Start-Up, Chris Ward: Character Above All Get Them at Hello – Tips to Improve Your Marketing Kit Sonny Vu, Entrepreneur A World at Your Fingertips Big Brother Wants Your Bank Account Stepping Off The Corporate Ladder HR Focus with Monica Ross A Unique New England Vacation Bold Caballeros y Noble Bandidas Women of Color and Cancer: The Chicago Phenomenon Being Single Isn't Easy International MBAs Flock To U.S. Schools Smart Strategy Gadgets+Gizmos Advertiser's Index

Diversity MBA Magazine - Fall 2008

For optimal viewing of this digital publication, please enable JavaScript and then refresh the page. If you would like to try to load the digital publication without using Flash Player detection, please click here.