YouthWorker Journal - March/April 2009 - (Page 43) This article is being written for church youth leaders—lay and professional—to help communicate ways to try and help prevent another tragedy from occurring again. Unfortunately, because the issues involved are relational, there is a great probability another school shooting will happen. Yet in the same vain—because it is relational—there is a great possibility your influence and guidance can keep it from happening to those in your environment. saying is you need to get to know the young adults in your groups and be their shepherd. As their shepherd, you can help nurture and guide them toward a mentorship, while shielding them from the “wolves” yearning for their souls, by understanding who they are, by using the resources of the Christian community around you. The weight of that responsibility is great, but the reward is without measure. In the years since my family’s death, I have pondered many areas, looking for where I possibly could do things Not Always Normal We cannot expect everything to always be “normal.” If you see a trend or shift in the dynamics of an individual or group, seek the professional assistance you need. The fact my son committed suicide indicates a mental imbalance from what we consider “normal.” In hindsight, in the time after Arnie’s death combined with other incidents in Aaron’s life, I can see the shift in his attitude that eventually led him to make his final choices in this life. I didn’t ask for help. “Parents hope and pray that within our church environment our children will find a positive mentor, a guiding light to help them grow in their relationships.” The Most Difficult, Yet Critically Essential Position In my opinion, the role of the youth worker is the most difficult but essential position in any church family. As our society continues to grow and become more institutionalized, we are living in a time when individual relationships are being sacrificed. The machine of our society is churning around us with no regard to who we are or its impact on our families and children. The school system environment no longer allows us to reach out and teach relational skills based on Christian values, ethics and morals. The unchecked flood of inappropriate messages transmitted through the media simply adds to the emotional and physical confusion our youth feel as they grow into maturity. Yet, through Christ there is hope. As our youth pass from ‘tweens to teenagers and on to young adults, we as parents hope and pray that within our church environment they will find a positive mentor, a guiding light to help them grow in their relationships. What I understand as a parent is my role is not to be the mentor; my purpose is to be the parent. I do not want to imply you have to be a mentor. What I am differently, to better help you be a shepherd as I raise my second family, two girls now 9 and 7. Don’t get me wrong; I did many of these things with my first two children. However, hindsight is a great tool if you truly search your soul to make positive change. We Need To Know Who You Are From my perspective, before I give you my children to nurture and shape, I need to know who you are. We need to build a relationship that goes beyond Sunday morning greetings. I must believe in the individual who will be a leader for my children. By building that relationship with me, you will see and sense the family dynamics surrounding my children; so when something does happen within the family structure, you can respond accordingly. For example, Aaron, in retrospect, had three safe places in the world—his home, his church and his relationship with Arnie. Arnie and Aaron were 18 months apart in age but had been raised nearly as brothers. As they grew together, they built a bond that would reach beyond the grave. When Arnie was murdered, Aaron changed. Nobody recognized the magnitude of the relationship until it was too late. Build a Support Network In my darkest moments of anguish and despair, the church—the organization, the institution—was not there. However, in those dark times there was always someone—a relationship, a Christ—who stepped forward to help me survive. As our teenagers and young adults struggle to grow and mature in this troubled world, you are the Christ they will see. You may be the one who helps them survive. Build a network to support yourself. The burnout rate for youth ministers is staggering. When Christ ministered on earth, He primarily taught his 12 disciples. However, His inner circle consisted of only three. Use His example; do not spread yourself too thin. If you need help, ask for help from those around you. May the message you send be a message of grace and hope. Ron Moore owns and operates Moore Engineering in Billings, Montana. YouthWorkerJournal.com | March/April 2009 43 http://www.YouthWorkerJournal.com
For optimal viewing of this digital publication, please enable JavaScript and then refresh the page. If you would like to try to load the digital publication without using Flash Player detection, please click here.