YouthWorker Journal - March/April 2009 - (Page 35)

“Simple things like a hug, a pat on the back, a word of encouragement are so much more helpful than our knee-jerk desire to answer every question that somebody suffering has.” — Dr. Allen Jackson Beth Lueders: One of the big things I’ve learned is everyone reacts, responds and grieves differently. Crisis for one person might not be crisis for another. Individuals even within the same family may react differently to a particular situation. We need to develop sensitivity to the fact that others might not react to a crisis in the same way we might. Heather Snodgrass: For most of us we hear about tragedy in front page news, but it fades away pretty quickly. For those of us who were in the tragedy or giving care to students who were, it was a long time before things returned to normal. Right after Columbine, we heard a lot about how “God is good.” Honestly, as time wore on, it became more difficult actually to believe that. It taught me a lot about my own faith, and most importantly, that Christ is sufficient for all our hurts and struggles. Heather: Be there! After Columbine, one of the reasons we were so effective was that we were there before it happened. In fact, one of the members of our team was actually in the cafeteria when the shootings took place. A bunch of us joined with the parents who were waiting at the elementary school down the street. Then for the next several weeks, about 16 hours a day, we were just with kids. From attending funerals and memorial services with students to simply hanging out with them, we were just with them. thousands of people or on a personal level—is felt the same way. For either type of crisis, as youth workers, we have to walk softly around a broken heart. Allen: In a crisis such as Katrina, we shared our pain with thousands of people, but there is nothing widespread about a mother or father who has lost a child or a student who has been raped. These are very personal, very intimate. One of the best things we can do in the very personal types of crisis is find someone who has been through something similar and get them with the victim as soon as we can. YWJ: There are big crises, such as Columbine and Katrina; and more intimate crises, the rape or death of a student. Should youth workers handle these the same way, or are they too different? Heather: In big crises, you are looking out for a lot of people who are dealing with a lot of feelings and emotions. Some are in the middle of it; some are simply on the edges looking in. When you are dealing with someone one-on-one, it can be easier to be more intentional and focused. Matt: I think everyone who experiences pain does so personally. All tragedy— whether it is on a large scale affecting YWJ: What are some of the warning signs a young person may be dealing with issues that could lead to tragedy? Allen: There are the textbook things: behavioral changes, changes in relationships, attendance patterns, dress, etc. If we are in relationship with our students, we have those “duh” moments when we simply know something is going on. We need to be aware. Matt: When we notice mood changes, behavior changes and especially if someone is talking about hurting themselves, we have to take these things seriously. We need to be willing to ask questions and investigate. YWJ: What is the best advice you would give to youth workers about how can we can help our students in times of crisis? Allen Jackson: Simple things like a hug, a pat on the back, words of encouragement or saying, “I don’t have any answers, but I’m praying for you,” are much more helpful than a knee-jerk desire to answer every question somebody (who is) suffering has. Beth: One of the things we learned about teenagers was their desire after or during a crisis simply to be together. Gathering together with friends, not letting anyone be a loaner, or creating a place where teens can cry on someone’s shoulder are very important in helping them after a crisis. “One of the big things I’ve learned is that everyone reacts, responds and grieves differently.” — Beth Lueders YouthWorkerJournal.com | March/April 2009 35 http://www.YouthWorkerJournal.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of YouthWorker Journal - March/April 2009

YouthWorker Journal - March/April 2009 Contents Feedback Youth Culture Update Culture Watch Encountering God Campus Ministry The Urban Take Sight Unseen Worldview Soul Care Managing Your Ministry 10 Minutes in God's Word From IQ to CQ Caring Amidst Crisis Risky Business When Tragedy Gets Personal Deaths in the Family Stopping Suicide Blessed Are They Who Mourn Healing the Healer Resources for Working with Crisis Tools Stirring it Up

YouthWorker Journal - March/April 2009

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