'MO - October 2008 - (Page 18)

cover story Click here to comment on the cover story. education and advocacy. It is not an agency per-se but an advocacy group that works with pre-screened partner agencies, which are required to follow non-discrimination policies and meet metrics for overall performance. These services are in high demand. Lesbians and gays are in the family way. Approximately 14,100 foster children are currently living with gay and lesbian parents and about 65,500 children have been adopted. Of the total number of adopted children under 18 who are living in same-sex households, Washington accounts for slightly more than 3000, ranking it 5th in the nation just under California, Massachusetts, New York and, more unexpectedly, Texas which ranked 4th. THE BIRDS AND BEES IN THE 21ST CENTURY Last month, the workplace diversity advocate group, Out and Equal, held an adoption and surrogacy forum for prospective lesbian and gay parents. Adoption Specialist Ann Lawrence and Attorney Barbara Wechsler talked about the basic questions that are essential for those desiring to become parents. “The ﬁrst question we always ask is, how important is the biological connection?” For welcoming to gay and lesbian foster-adoption since the mid-1980s. The second path is going through a private agency. For these children, both birth parents have given custody of the child to the agency who then transfers custody to the adoptive parent(s). The third course is an independent adoption. In these cases the birth parent or parents give legal custody directly to the new parents under the guidance of an attorney. The fourth is an international adoption where American families adopt children from other countries. Unfortunately, channels of international adoption are tightening, even as agencies are opening up to gays and lesbians. To help navigate these choices, Families Like Ours offers classes, including Adoption 101, which give greater detail on the speciﬁc steps potential parents must take to qualify. “First there is a home-study where the domestic situation is analyzed.” David said, “That can take 60–90 days. That is followed by full background checks by both the F.B.I. and the Washington State Patrol. Then everyone goes into the same waiting pool where birth parents can review pre-selected candidates. Overall it takes anywhere from 13–24 months. Of course it can take longer. Accepting siblings will raise your chances, as will considering older children.” THE NEW NORMAL Though becoming a gay or lesbian parent seems like a difﬁcult and complicated road, more and more are enthusiastically joining the ranks. A 2007 study released by the Williams Institute at the UCLA Law School showed that an estimated 27% of same-sex couples have a child under 18 living in their homes. The Wing-Kovarik Family Parenthood By Vincent Kovar “Why? What did they do? What did you hear?” Whether natural, foster, adopted or surrogate, any parent will recognize this as the caring/concerned/somewhat joking/a little bit terriﬁed response to the question, “so you have children?” and it is the one I got from David Wing-Kovarick, co-founder and executive director of Children Like Ours. He was only joking (that time) but if there is one thing David knows, it is parenthood. I caught up with him by phone as he was waiting to pick up his sixth-grader, Shawn, from track practice. David and his spouse, Conrad, founded Children Like Ours in 2000 to reduce the particular barriers faced mainly by gay and lesbian adoptive and foster families. The non-proﬁt organization provides a combination of free services such as referrals, support, those for whom that connection is important, they recommended surrogacy or, for lesbians, artiﬁcial insemination. The sperm or egg donor may be from a person who is unknown, knowable (after the child turns 18) or known, e.g. a friend or family member. When the biological question is less important, they recommended one of several paths to adoption. The ﬁrst is foster care to adoption. This can be done through the state Department of Social and Health Services. They have been Nate Carson, Isaac Spence (9 months) and Carl Spence 18 celebrating seattle’s gay community

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of 'MO - October 2008

'MO- October 2008 Contents Letter From The Editor Voices ’mo-BIZ: MGS Consulting Services GLAAD To Be Aboard Pet Project Instant Activist Sports: Jet City Hoops Tips Off Pro-Equality Candidates Philadelphia Is All About The Love Parenthood Form & Function: Strip It Off For The Holidays Gay City Health Project: Gay Men’s Health Summit The 13th Annual Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival Capitol Hill Guide SceneOut: People@Places Q&A With Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark ’mo-Single Q&A

'MO - October 2008

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