'MO - October 2008 - (Page 20)

cover story Click here to comment on the cover story. Forum. According to their panel, prospective gay parents frequently spend the least amount of time in the waiting pool, at least in King County. because I’m a little bit older, more settled and more patient but there is not one minute that I’ve regretted. Every morning when Otto wakes up I think I am the luckiest woman in the world. I know that sounds cliché but it’s true.” Kate is now looking forward to having a second child, this time using adoption. SINGLE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN…? PARENTING The disunity between same-sex and Like millions of heterosexual family law can be particularly other Americans, hard on children, especially as the various busingle gays and reaucracies try to adjust. Marie Hartung is the lesbians are often biological mother of two boys: Jasper 3, and choosing not to Jack 5. It took her 12 tries to become pregnant wait for a partner. with Jack using artiﬁcial insemination, and she Robert Erickson used fertility medication to become pregnant is a single real with Jasper. estate broker who The lack of equal rights in marriage proved recently moved to Tom Underhill and to be an added complication early on. Marie Seattle from Los Larry Nicholas with daughter, Orly. and her partner, Katrina, were worried they Angeles and is the might have to pay taxes on the value of each proud new parent PARENTHOOD (continued from page 19) partner’s health insurance. They were also of Emma Lulu, a beautiful little girl whom he tice Madsen’s position. Data from the National concerned about access to FMLA (Family and adopted. Survey of Family Growth (conducted by the Medical Leave Act) and how to pay for artiﬁ“I was raised Mormon so I always wanted National Center for Health) showed that more cial insemination (straight couple often have kids. I tried surrogacy but the ﬁrst surrogate than 35% of lesbians between the ages of ﬁnancial assistance from their insurance). mother had two miscarriages,” he says. Sup18–44 have given birth and 16% of gay men Feeling that the current domestic partnership ported by his family in Oregon, Robert found have a biological or adopted child.” In light of a birth mother who was willing to put these ﬁgures, Justice Madsen’s urge to place her seventh child directly into Robert’s gay and lesbian parents outside the legal PHOTO BY JIM COX foster care and now he is currently in protections of marriage is problematic. the process of adopting Emma Lulu. Larry Nicholas described some of the “She’s been with me a year last Auconcerns some families can have. “I’ve met gust. Fatherhood has been rewarding dads who carry a folder full of their kids’ legal and also life-changing. As a parent, documents when they travel. There is a fear you don’t want to do anything wrong. that the kids could get taken away.” I think I only slept for 20 minutes at a “Right now, under Washington’s domestic stretch the ﬁrst three months.” partnership law adoption rights are not speKate Beck also decided to become ciﬁcally included,” said David Wing-Kovarick. a parent on her own. “I was a single “Do the current laws prevent us from being a woman turning 40 and I really wanted family? No. Under the eyes of the law, in terms to have a child. Living in the Midof hospice visits, school stuff, insurance, inwest, gay parenthood wasn’t really heritance, wills: an adoption is an adoption. A an option, but after I came to Seattle marriage license won’t change that but it does it seemed like everyone was doing change other legal protections.” it. First, I ran the whole gamut of Despite advancements, these legal protecadoption attorneys but they painted a tions for gay and lesbian families remain pretty scary picture about how I might spotty at best. Twelve states explicitly prohibit have to deny being a lesbian. So I discrimination based on sexual orientation in found a lesbian-owned sperm bank in adoption yet Washington is not one of them. San Francisco which I chose because More than 100,000 foster children await the donors allowed their identity to be adoption in the U.S., yet only one-ﬁfth of known after the child turns 18. That adoption agencies are currently attempting was important to me.” to recruit queer parents. However, Families Kate’s son, Otto will turn two this Like Ours has a speciﬁc program for families month. “What surprised me most is interested in adopting LGBTQ youth. Another how fun it is. It’s total joy. Maybe it’s encouraging note came from the Out & Equal Robert Erickson and daughter, Emma LuLu. 20 celebrating seattle’s gay community

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of 'MO - October 2008

'MO- October 2008 Contents Letter From The Editor Voices ’mo-BIZ: MGS Consulting Services GLAAD To Be Aboard Pet Project Instant Activist Sports: Jet City Hoops Tips Off Pro-Equality Candidates Philadelphia Is All About The Love Parenthood Form & Function: Strip It Off For The Holidays Gay City Health Project: Gay Men’s Health Summit The 13th Annual Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival Capitol Hill Guide SceneOut: People@Places Q&A With Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark ’mo-Single Q&A

'MO - October 2008

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