'MO - November 2008 - (Page 23)

p/reviews BOOK REVIEW The Transgender Child Reviewed by Terri Schlichenmeyer By Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper Did you play dress-up when you were a kid? A box of old clothes, a few nearly-tattered hats, some shoes that were way too big for you, and a rainy day were the recipe for trying on all sorts of new selves and pretending you were something other than you were. But for some kids, there is no pretending. They strongly feel they were born as the wrong gender or they feel they are neither gender. For some of them, the feeling starts almost before they learn to walk. In the new book The Transgender Child by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper, you’ll learn about gender, biology, and understanding. In the process of growing up and learning about the world, children naturally try on different identities, “becoming” boy or girl as easily as they become a princess or a pirate. Brill and Pepper say that our society perpetuates acknowledgement of only two genders but to understand trans children, we need to throw those old ideas out. Gender is ﬂuid and many of us are, biologically speaking, a blend of sexes. The authors say that even small children can indicate through words or actions that they may be transgender. Often, children who are firm in the knowledge that they were “born in the wrong body” but lack the language skills to convey that, are equally firm in the clothing and accessories they wear. Listen to your child, the authors say, and pay attention. And if the words you hear and the actions you observe have been there for awhile, it’s not “just a phase.” Brill and Pepper say that parents may grieve and bargain, but transgender children do not “grow out of” their identity, nor can they generally be mentally healthy if they deny it. Seek a professional, and find other parents of transgender and transﬂuid children for support. Join PFLAG or other organizations. In this case—particularly if you’re isolated and can’t find help—the authors say the Internet may be your best friend. If you have a child who doesn’t identify wholly with “boy” or “girl,” you may be pretty confused. Unfortunately, at first, The Transgender Child is going to make things worse for you. Authors Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper cover so much information in their opening chapters that parents’ heads will spin. My advice is to leave that information to the professionals. Skim it, attempt an understanding, then cut to the heart of this helpful book: the chapters on how (and who) to tell; how to deal with public bathroom issues; legal concerns, especially for teens; and ways to protect your child and keep him or her alive. If you love a child who is adamant that they are not the boy or girl they appear to be, The Transgender Child will help, but only with the caveat above. This book will show you that children are frogs and snails and puppy dog tails, sugar and spice and everything nice, and everything in between. moseattle.com 23 issue 21 | november 2008 http://www.salondewi.com http://www.moseattle.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of 'MO - November 2008

'MO - November 2008 Contents Letter from the Editor Voices Elections '08: What Really Happened Instant Activist Pet Project Legally Speaking: Estate Planning 'mo-BIZ: Thinking Cap Communications & Design, Inc. Whistler-Blackcomb's Peak 2 Peak Gondola Form & Function: Stay Up on the Downhill: Glutes & Legs Gay City Health Project: 10 Tips for Safe and Healthy Travel Head for the Hills: The Top 4 Gay Ski Weeks in North America Book Review: Waiter Rant Book Review: The Transgender Child Capitol Hill Guide Live Event Preview: Teatro ZinZanni's A Rosa de Rio Live Event Preview: Jennifer Holliday and the Seattle Men's Chorus DVD Review: Kiss the Bride SceneOut: People@Places 'mo-Single Q&A

'MO - November 2008

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