'MO - February 2009 - (Page 8)

community Click here to comment on these stories. VOICES and young in the interior of the United States offered little chance to encounter same-sex couples in long term relationships, much less famous people in the public eye. What hope was there for ever finding a love in one’s life and having it stick? Despite the passage of Prop 8 in California, our community is slowly gaining recognition of our relationships in mainstream American culture. A story in the newsmagazine The Advocate this fall explored how gay marriage will change our culture not in negative but very positive ways. The article profiled poet Mark Doty and his decision to marry his partner. They married in Massachusetts but live in New York, where the new Governor declared the state would recognize same-sex marriages sealed in California and Massachusetts. In the interview Doty discussed how he had little desire to get married until he accepted a job in an academic community where he was offered same-sex partner benefits. The only requirement—he and his partner needed to be in a “legally recognized” relationship. After exploring New York City’s domestic partnership registration and learning the main benefit would be that if one partner were incarcerated, the other would be permitted to visit, they settled on marriage. Doty expressed concern that marriage would define him and his partner, rather than the other way around. He then realized that minus the power dynamics of heterosexual custom, he and his partner had few conventions to follow. And that this allowed for an incredible amount of inventiveness and freedom. Many on the Christian right fear that gay marriage is a threat to traditional marriage. And they are correct in the sense that as more and more of us have the opportunity to choose to marry, we will redefine the institution for the better and liberate it from the constraints of the past. Perhaps even reinvigorate it for straight couples, who may feel like they don’t have to be so “straight” after all. The October 7 story goes on to say: “What marriage is [is] yours for the defining. If you want a cozy domestic scene, monogamous and settled in together, go for it. Want to commit to one another but live in adjoining houses, like Frida and Diego, or in apartments on two different sides of town, or in different cities altogether? Want to keep the doors open to sexual ﬂuidity, improvisation, and freedom? It’s your marriage.” I always understood the values of honor, love and respect that marriage challenges couples to uphold, but viewed other elements as constraining. A priest friend once told me, “Marriage liberates you.” Slowly I am starting to get it. Jack is a freelance writer and longtime Seattle resident. He makes his home on Capitol Hill. By Jack Hilovsky Getting Marriage Last August I joined my friends Jeff and John for a quiet Labor Day weekend on Lopez Island. The first day we went crabbing along the Straits of Juan de Fuca. Over the next few days we strolled down a rustic lane to pick blackberries for jam. We played cards and took a hike out to an abandoned lighthouse on the edge of the sea. I had tucked into my suitcase a copy of People magazine with Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi on the cover. I rarely buy the rag (isn’t that what everyone says?), but I couldn’t resist delving into its pages and reading about their wedding. The clothes, their rings, the food and candlelight. Even the vegan red velvet wedding cake. With all the celebrations of celebrity in the world, this front-page coupling seemed more important. Not so long ago, growing up queer         8 celebrating seattle’s gay community   http://www.cabinetrends.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of 'MO - February 2009

'MO - February 2009 Contents Letter From The Editor Voices Pet Project Gay Softball League Seeks New Players Instant Activist: Two Opportunities to Make a Difference Bailey-Boushay’s Chefs’ Dinner Pulls in More Than $285,000 GLSEN Releases Report on LGBT Students of Color Gay City Health Project: Race Relations Form & Function: Partner Workout Power Couple: Senator Ed Murray and Michael Shiosaki Montréal The ’mo Interview: Joe DiPietro New on DVD: Tru Loved Coming to CD/DVD: The Annie Lennox Collection SceneOut: People@Places AIDS Awareness & Action Day 2009 Capitol Hill Guide

'MO - February 2009

For optimal viewing of this digital publication, please enable JavaScript and then refresh the page. If you would like to try to load the digital publication without using Flash Player detection, please click here.