Better Software - December 2008 - (Page 19)

Management Chronicles STORY LINES • Being curious can bring you to good and great solutions. Try to understand your own interests— short-term and long-term. • Ask the other parties what their interests are. Listen carefully. • Create ideas that give others something they really care about. Bring something they value to the table, increasing the possible gains for both of you. leads them to avoid each other, which may be costly. Instead of writing off the issue as a personality clash, focus on the underlying problem that generated the words and behaviors. Determine your own interests. Figure out why this situation and the work are important to you both in the short run and the longer term. Then contact the other person and ask what her interests are. What in this situation and its outcomes is important to you? Listen carefully, writing down her aims and asking her to explain more when you don’t understand. This creates a list of what matters most to both of you. Delight. Create deliverable options that offer the other person something she values. Even in impasses where the solution seems limited to My Truth or Your Truth, there are more options. Create ideas that will give the other person something that matters now or in the future. This is not giving in. This enables everyone to see previously unimagined outcomes that may exceed anything that was possible in the original either/ or choice. How do you do this in the heat of a challenging conversation when one (or both) of you feels insulted, assaulted, embarrassed, incompetent, manipulated, or just pressed for time? You might stop for a moment—or a day—and have a very different conversation. “Jill,” Rich said. “It will help us both if we figure a way out together—and quickly. What is really important to you for this product? For your life in this company? What could a good solution do for you?” “C-level would see me as a successful contributor!” Jill said. Rich took notes. “You said you want to make a contribution,” he said. “What kind? How would you like to benefit from all this?” “I’d like to be invited to the strategy meetings that launch the company’s new initiatives. If we miss this deadline, they’ll cancel the launch and blame the failure on me. I can kiss good projects and a promotion goodbye!” Jill talked a bit more, then took a deep breath and asked gingerly, “What about you?” “I really want my team members to feel confident about keeping their jobs,” Rich said. “I think it’s time we learned new test methodologies. But, first, my team members have to feel secure, engaged, and involved. Being told how good they are would be nice, too!” By talking about their future contributions to the organization and their concerns about job security and reputation, Rich and Jill have opened up the conversation and the possibilities. They have stepped out of a framework of blaming that would fuel their anger and frustration. They have stepped out of positions and are talking with each other, not with personality “types.” They have learned about one another’s thoughts— and constraints—about the future, each helping the other understand the organization and the context for this product’s success. Jill and Rich suddenly switch to suggesting ways they can meet each other’s interests. They create options that may not have anything to do with the technical details of the new product or the tests. Jill may invite Rich and his staff to a design meeting to explain their innovations in testing new features. This information exchange might lead to designs that anticipate the limits in testing or to the two groups working together to improve testing. Or Jill and Rich might write a memo together to the executive VP for product development to www.StickyMinds.com propose a more forgiving development timeline that could create a leap forward in product quality. This gives them both “face time” with the next level, showing their leadership qualities and value to the organization. Both feel part of a solution and an appreciation of their skills and experience. Challenging conversations that lead to everyone feeling as if they got something they really wanted does more than just make people feel better. The next conversation will now start on a more positive note, rather than opening with hostility, hurt, or desire for revenge. More than that, Rich and Jill together create value that did not previously exist. Working to “delight” one another may shorten development cycles, produce surprising product ideas, and provide ways for the staff to collaborate more effectively. Challenging conversations happen every day. Approaching them with curiosity creates opportunities to improve individual performance and relationships and may generate new value for the enterprise. {end} reFerenceS: [1] DeDreu, Carsten. The Vice and Virtue of Workplace Conflict: Food for (Pessimistic) Thought. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 2008. 29: 5-18. How do you handle conflict in the workplace? Follow the link on the StickyMinds.com homepage to join the conversation. Every manager has a story to tell, and we’d like to hear yours! The editors of Better Software magazine are looking for software managers with a literary flair to submit content for our monthly Management Chronicles department. For more information, email a query to editors@bettersoftware.com. Subject: Management Chronicles. DECEMBER 2008 BETTER SOFTWARE 19 http://www.StickyMinds.com http://www.StickyMinds.com

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of Better Software - December 2008

Better Software - December 2008 Contents Mark Your Calendar Contributors eLightenment Technically Speaking Code Craft Test Connection Management Chronicles What's a Manager to Do? Six Thinking Hats for Testers The Key to Good Interviewing 2008 Salary Survey Product Announcements 10 Things You Might Not Know About … The Last Word Ad Index

Better Software - December 2008

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