The Leading Edge - Summer 2008 - (Page 7)

Be nice. Be strong. Play to strength of gender roles. tion. People don’t want to lose, offend people or make people mad and “no” all plays into those emotions. So he advises that you get that fear out of the way first. “Take fear out of the equation—it truly enhances decision-making capabilities,” says Camp, who wrote No: The Only Negotiating System You Need for Work and Home. “No” allows the negotiation to move forward because the fear drops away and the discussion becomes more participatory. If you start negotiating by acknowledging the other person can say “no” as long as she agrees to spend more time to look at the deal, you’ve removed the person’s fear (and self-talk) on how to say no politely and allow the individual to focus on the actual details. Camp says taking out the fear emotion does not remove emotions from the situation but it does allow all involved persons to be comfortable. “All decisions are based 100 percent emotionally in the brain,” he says, explaining that we use information to justify those emotions verbally. He tells of a company that wanted help in figuring how to become profitable. Buyers of its product had no other options as the company was the sole source provider—and the product was required in the industry. But even given that scenario, the company had not been profitable in three years. Camp was paid well to meet a full day with the board of directors. He asked the board what numbers it needed to make a profit and what numbers it had been getting. The solution was simple given the noncompetitive situation, he said. Raise your prices significantly so you can turn a profit. “Our customers will hate it,” the board responded. But that’s how the company can develop the next generation of products that its customers will want, Camp explained. But the board could not get away from the idea that the price increase would upset its customers so it decided to sell more stock for new investment. “I could not create the vision. I could not take away the fear,” Camp said. l ittle girls are taught to be nice. Little boys are taught to be strong. With those starting points, it’s no wonder that men and women typically view negotiation differently. Professor Horacio Falcao says while gender differences shouldn’t matter in a particular negotiation, understanding them is essential to successful negotiating. “Gender differences are not a handicap,” says Falcao, who teaches decision sciences and studies gender differences at INSEAD, one of the world’s largest graduate business schools with campuses in Singapore and France. He cautions that gender differences are not universal so it should not be considered that “all men” and “all women” act as the research shows. When women negotiate on others’ behalf (whether individuals or their companies), they usually take steps to be much more successful (10 to 20 percent more in some cases). Women see negotiation as a value-based proposition, one built on relationships in environments where people feel safe interacting. However, they are not as likely to research and provide significant data to support their claims. Women do a lot of the leg work to create as much value as possible, but tend not to claim their fair share of the value created. Falcao recommends that women always participate in negotiations as if they’re negotiating for others so they get their proper share. Men, on the other hand, view negotiations from a more threatening perspective—they are analytical and data prone in the process. They see negotiation as bargaining. But, Falcao cautions, not all negotiation is bargaining—it’s to sort conflict and identify areas for progress. Men frequently view negotiation as a “win-lose” situation, where the victory is power. Women, instead, do not seek power for the sake of power. They’re more curious so they ask more questions. They move away from the typical “power” concept and desire to reduce conflict, facilitate an exchange of information and gain an advantage that way. As Falcao explained earlier, men and women are taught as children to play different roles. As such, people in business expect your behavior to match your gender role. Falcao doesn’t advocate trying to act against those stereotypes; doing so would violate others’ expectations and unsettle them. Instead, he says, soften those hard lines and use the expectations as a starting point, playing to the strengths of those characteristics and downplaying the weaknesses. e Style v. strategy People are fairly diverse in their negotiating approach, says Anne Donnellon, an associate professor who teaches negotiation in the MBA classes at Babson University. Some are consummate game players or competitors who frame negotiations as an “if you win, I lose” test of their competence. Others are focused on continued on page 8 FALCAo RECoMMEnDS ThAT WoMEn ALWAyS pARTICIpATE In nEGoTIATIonS AS IF ThEy’RE nEGoTIATInG FoR oThERS So ThEy GET ThEIR pRopER ShARE. 7 ThE LEadIng EdgE

Table of Contents Feed for the Digital Edition of The Leading Edge - Summer 2008

The Leading Edge - Summer 2008 Contents Better Negotiations Instant-Response World Leads to New Expectations for Voice Mail Bits & Pieces Top 10 Misconceptions of Doing Business in Cyprus In a Nutshell: Q&A The Leading Edge Alliance

The Leading Edge - Summer 2008

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