Balance June 2019 - 28

IT'S
GOOD
TO
TALK

WORDS JAMES GILL

hen icons such as Chris
Hemsworth, Rio Ferdinand
and Jonny Wilkinson open up
about struggles with mental
health (and all have done in this very title), it's
powerful stuff. It inspires more men to talk.

Yet, as we hit Men's Health Week (10-16
June), it still feels like we've got a way to go.
While things are seemingly getting better
(in 2017, 4,382 men took their own lives in
the UK, the lowest rate since 1981), the fact
remains that suicide is the biggest killer of
men under 45. According to the Samaritans,
every day an average of 12 men in the UK
take their own life, while research from
Priory says 77 per cent of men polled have
suffered with anxiety, stress or depression.
Kit Harington recently checked into a
wellness clinic citing personal problems,
and if a beloved star of a hit show (Game of
Thrones) is acknowledging he needs help,
perhaps more of us need to take action.
Diver Tom Daley struggled with
anxiety and even PTSD off the back of a
disappointing 2012 Olympics, and believes
it's our very essence holding us back. "Talk
about it!" Tom says. "The plain and simple
thing is to not be British about it." Perhaps
it's small wonder it was an American, his
husband Lance Black, who opened Tom's
eyes to meditation and mindfulness.
"Say, 'I'm going to ask if he's OK. I'm
going to ask how he's doing.' Being able
to talk about our feelings and emotions
and talking when things aren't OK... some
British people think they don't need help,
but we need to talk. When you talk and get
things off your chest, you get perspective."

Jim Cummings, star, writer, producer
and director of Thunder Road, a beautiful
indie movie that explores mental health,
echoes Tom's thoughts. "Talk about it and
ask about it. Men are rarely asked how
they're feeling and it often helps to just have
someone to hear your thoughts."
Comedian Rich Wilson feels so strongly
about male mental health that he launched
a podcast: Insane In The
Men Brain. While Rich
feels positive steps are
being taken, he calls for
patience. "It's only been
in very recent years that
men have been actively
encouraged to open
up about how they're
feeling.
We've
had
years of being told to 'man up' and 'don't
cry because only girls cry', and it's going to
take a few more years to repair the damage.
Progress is being made, but these things
always take time. Plus, you have many men
who don't see why they should change...
They see manliness as being everything,
but that usually stems from some insecurity
somewhere or another.
"We need to show these men that you can
still be manly and do manly things while at

MEN DON'T
SEE WHY
THEY SHOULD
CHANGE

Thunder Road is in cinemas now; Insane In
The Men Brain podcast is out now (as
is the BALANCE podcast!); Tom Daley
was speaking on behalf of BULK POWDERS

YOU' VE GOT MALE

28.7% x3

Of men are classed as
"binge drinkers" based on
the heaviest drinking day

85%

Percentage of men
making up the UK's
rough sleeper population

Men are three times as
likely to become alcohol
dependent than women

Average number of men
in the UK every day
who take their own life

24.8
Number of men per
100,000 aged 45-49
dying by suicide

14%

The ratio of men
more likely to get
cancer than women

Weeks men with eating
disorders wait for a GP
referral. It's 10 for women

Women aged 20-40 are
twice as likely to go to
a doctor than men

SOURCES ons.gov.uk, menshealthforum.org, statista.com, beatingdisorders.org.uk, hse.gov.uk
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, samaritans.org, hethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk, drinkaware.co.uk

This Men's Health Week, it's
not just guys who need to have
candid conversations in order
to rebalance affairs. We all do

the same time saying to your mate in the van
on your way to the building site that you're
really struggling to keep things together at
home or that you're feeling depressed or
suicidal and you don't know why."
Cummings agrees once more. "It's
evolutionary. Men still feel like they're
the guardians of the cave and if they fall
apart, the family unit will fall apart, too.
A lot of men I speak to about depression
say they feel shame and are inadequate
by addressing their problems. All of it
stems from generations of playground
fights encouraging emotional callousness
that doesn't sync with a healthy life or
relationship with our fellows."
We also need to tread carefully. #MeToo is
obviously a very important movement and
has unearthed horrific crimes. But some are
getting hurt in the crossfire. Wilson says,
"There also seem to be a lot of anti-men
conversations going on. Rightly so, in some
ways, because of the few among us who
have behaved horrifically towards women.
But a lot of men are getting shut down if
they dare say 'but it's not all men'.
"Instead of shouting insults and blame
at each other, men and
women need to come
together, to work to
understand each other
better and stand strong
against the men, and
a certain percentage
of women, who are
ruining this beautiful
thing we call life.
"I know it sounds hippy dippy and
maybe a little naïve, but wouldn't it be
a wonderful world if we could just work
things out together?" B

http://hse.gov.uk http://drinkaware.co.uk http://beatingdisorders.org.uk http://hethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk http://www.statista.com http://www.menshealthforum.org http://www.samaritans.org http://ons.gov.uk http://ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Balance June 2019

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Balance June 2019