Dentaltown March 2020 - 92

dentally
incorrect

Millennial

'Meh'
Marketing

Like it or not, millennials have teeth;
they're bound to come into your office.
While technology has advanced wonderfully,
marketing lags-first rebounding from the
rejection of old methods, absorbing the new
meta, then using it to attract the intended
audience-albeit too late. What we're
saying is: It's pointless. But "pointless" is a
millennial platform, so we're on the right
track! (And if you're wondering what "meta"
is ... keep wondering.) Here are five tips
from our millennial marketing team-and
we're almost sure they weren't being ironic.

Be social-media worthy. Take a selfie
on Snapchat-but be sure to add that
rainbow throw-up animation along with
the caption: "This new piña coladaflavored fluoride polish is lit, fam! Come
see us instead of writing that paper!"
Instant responses = instant conversions.
Millennials don't wait for things; they
live in a world in which Amazon renewed
work serfdom so people could get things
the same day they ordered them. In fact,
don't even wait to respond-be ahead of
the game. Message randoms and ask to
see their mouths.

The patient is the star! Millennials like
to relate to the brand, so make them part
of yours! When you've got a new patient
coming into the office, make T-shirts
with his/her photo on it for the team to
wear during the appointment. That'll
work out well. ...

Inundate with information. If you thought
that boomers were bad with their "I read
it on Google," then you've never treated
a millennial who's convinced that his
Reddit research trumps your degree. The
trick is to stop practicing and spend all
your time creating online content about
what you used to do and become the very
source a potential patient cites when he
wants you to treat them. But the joke's on
him-you quit three years ago!
Appeal to their values. Don't stick to your
old-school modernisms, curmudgeon!
Millennials are already transitioning
out of the once-popular postmodernism
that permeated a wholesome, nonironic
enthusiasm for living. "Meh" and the
inescapable nihilism of "whatever" is the
newest slowly sinking boat to jump on.
Try an ad campaign that encapsulates,
"At least when global warming kills us,
all my teeth will be fire, too!" ■

humor with bite

FREE FACTS, circle 18 on card

92

MARCH 2020 // dentaltown.com

DT0320_DentallyIncorrect_AG.indd 92

2/18/20 10:57 AM


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Dentaltown March 2020

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